seeking critique (i'm new on this forum)

[neopatogen]

Also as this community is not extremely active, you might check out some Discord servers, for example:

BST (community by Tyler Edlin and Adam Duff) https://discord.gg/tuv5Afa
CG core https://discord.gg/sgZw4qpcrX
Lightbox expo (just beware, heavy promo of Schoolism classes there, even though it might be not a bad thing...) https://bit.ly/LBXDiscord