04-16-2015, 12:52 AM
Adrian - Thanks man, im glad you like them :)
So its been just over a month since I last posted. Ouch :S Sorry for the delay. Though to be honest a lot has been happening recently in my mind and in life which has changed a lot.
I'm going to get this down in writing so I can gain some clarity to myself and use this sketchbook as ive always used it, to share my thoughts and document my journey, for my myself and for anyone else who can gain insight from It. This going to be long so I apologise in advance :p
So i'll start from the beginning, as ive mentioned before in previous posts ive been struggling more and more with being able to maintain a strong consistency to improving and grinding like I used too. It troubled me no end and I also put it down to me just becoming lazy and undisciplined so I buried it and tried to keep pushing. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get that fire blazing like it used too. I used to wake up early before anyone else at home and be working before everyone got up for work, then worked long after everyone went to bed. I got to a point where I wanted to start blending my meals so I could drink them while I painted to up my time production. It felt good though and I learnt so much in that time, not only about art but about myself, on how to achieve goals, about enduring the ups and downs, and building a strong mind. I suffered from depression before this and was on medication and I was able to completely eradicate it during this time.
My goal was always simple, get really fucking good and the work and money will follow. The idea of painting for a living, even if it meant doing other peoples ideas was awesome. I knew I could do it too, so it was all just about enduring the grind.
Then the day finally came where I got a few commissions and it quickly became a job. Although I was painting which was cool it was just that, painting. It just became a repetitive task to gain the end result. I could have just been painting walls and I didn't believe or care about the ideas. The pay was laughable too which just felt like a kick in the balls to be honest.
"Nevermind though, when I get better the jobs will get better" I told myself. Though the first seed of doubt had been sown. I endured with my own stuff and subconsciously had backed away from the freelance. Especially after I'd sent my stuff out and heard NOTHING back. I just figured I need to get better, which I probably did and still do. I was researching about freelancing and seeing the rates people where working for and was struggling to comprehend how people do it. And even the higher end jobs like lotc didn't seem all that great to be honest. Especially for what they require, super rendered everywhere with chicks big boobs. Really, when artist start out, is this their ultimate dream? And this is higher tier? A few more seeds had been sown.
Then a couple of months ago, I was doing my shit job which ive been doing for so long to finance me while I tried to make this art thing work and it just sent me over the edge. I worked roughly 14 hours mauling heavy furniture and got about £50. Best bit is my boss walked away with hundreds. And this wasn't a one off occasion. I'd had enough, and something had to change.
I was sick of living a poor mans life style. I want money. There I said it. "Dirty sell out! There's more important things in life than money! Money wont bring you happiness!" Are just a few of he things I told myself, but really I want wealth. The final seed was sown. Ive heard fabled tales of artists who make 6 figure salaries a year but ive never met one or even heard of one.
So that next day after the long work shift, I started listening to business podcasts, interviews, reading articles and reading/ listening to business audio books and just started absorbing info from everywhere and anywhere. It felt refreshing and inspiring and already ive learnt so much. I used to think business was all maths, spread sheets, and people in uniforms bullshitting one another. In truth it's not too much different from learning any other skill. And money itself is interesting. It creates so much emotion and dictates something completely different from one person to another. A lot of money is more about phycology and mind set compared to figures and maths.
Anyway, I'm drifting off topic. The point I'm making from this is over the past couple of months, from researching so much stuff in business ive come to learn some things which have changed my mind set and opened my mind to completely new avenues which were always there, I just couldn't see them. I'll try to bullet point the main ones.
1, It's not about the money - My ultimate vision as an artist was to try and impact the world some way. This sounds grand but I figured I could make change doing the one thing I loved more than anything else and the only thing I'm half good at. I wanted to bring something to peoples lives, which a simple 9-5 job could never do In my opinion. This is partly why I pretended i didn't care about the money, because my ultimate goal exceeded myself. The truth though, is more options are open to you with money and wealth. An example, Bill Gates or Richard Branson who are able to donate millions towards charities. Not only this but having money gives you more opportunities to invest in causes you believe in and brings a higher standard of living for yourself.
2, The higher the value, the larger the wealth - So in simple terms, if you want to make money and be rich you must provide equal amounts of value to the world. Bringing value to peoples lives is what ultimately makes you money. You think about the biggest companies or products, like apple, facebook or amazon for example, then look at the amount of value they've been able to provide and you'll start to see how this works. Think about the things in your life, you favourite services/ products and you'll see the pattern fits the same bill.
Now the thing ive been thinking is, how much value can a picture provide? It seems very limited to me. Is this why artist tend to make so little? Is there something bigger or more valuable that can be provided from this?
3, freelance VS business owner - Leading on from the previous point, you can outsource yourself to companies to contribute to games and films right? That way you contribute to something much bigger right? This is defiantly true and a worthy cause I guess if the game or film meets your vision. Also how will this benefit you financially? On the short term it will I guess in wages and freelance rates, unless you have shares in the actually license of the game, which if it succeeds will grant you revenue. The point is as a freelancer, YOU are the source of your income. You stop working or go away for some time, the income stops too. On the other hand if you create a business which provides a product or service then eventually you'll be able to take a step back and all being well things wont stop. If fact, if you build your business successfully then it'll continue to grow even when your not there. To me, building something like this, which scales organically and reaches more and more people in a positive way seems much more to my original vision than creating pictures does. Which takes me onto my final point for now I think...
4 - The race to the bottom - I heard a story which i'll try to quickly share with you now. A women creates a bunch of original t - shirts which originally do pretty well and so she wants to grow her business. She takes her t-shirts to retailers who agree to sell her t-shirts for a percentage of the profits. Awesome she thinks and reaches out to more retailers who do the same thing. Though what eventually happens is the retailers lower the price of her t -shirts to compete with other retailers selling the same shirt. The others do the same. Before long, her t-shirts are costing her money to make and her business is finished. The reason I bring this up is because ive found freelancers in this market are exactly the same. You only need to go and have a browse at the rates on deviantart to see a rat race of people fighting over one another to a race to the bottom with rates. What the point? Well the mass of artists doing this is partly the reason. Simply an oversaturation of people meeting the demand. Again goes back to the value being provided and why rates tend to be so low.
What's more is a lot of the time you are dispensable. Crazy to think of an artist just being another cog in the machine because we romanticise art as being unique but sadly its true. Your just being paid to paint x, y and z most of the time which if you cant do, next artist can just do it. If you don't believe this then just think about all the artist you know who paint chicks in armour with (insert weapon here). Are you unique? If someone was looking to employ you but couldn't are you irreplaceable? Remember your ideas might be unique to you but your being paid to paint other peoples ideas so at this point the only value you can provide is your painting ability. You've just become another cog.
So this has gone on a while now, and it's crazy how putting this down in writing like this clears my mind slightly and reveals truths I didn't even realise about myself. My point is I'm at a point now where I don't know where to head or what to do. I love art and creating designs, especially creatures and monsters! But I want to provide more, I want to start a business which reaches more people and provides more value for the world. I guess I just got so caught up in the whole 'grind for improvement' that ive lost sight on the bigger picture.
Now if you've made it this far then I've got to congratulate and commend you lol, and also thank you for taking such an interest in what ive got to say that your at this point but bear with me just a bit longer. I don't want this to be a post which brings people down or gives the impression that i've quit, because that's not true. In fact quite the opposite! I'm just more conscious of what I'm creating now and the reasons for it and looking for new ways to be unique and indispensable. My goals have shifted now too, even if I don't exactly know yet what they are now. I just want to bring as much joy to the world as possible and explore more of what life has to offer.
Thank you for everyone who has supported me on this journey this far, I want to give more to you all so if you have any ideas on how or what you would like to see from me in the future then please let me know. I'm planning on continuing my business knowledge quest and eventually im going to share absolutely everything with you guys.
Oh and here's a bit of art
studies
mind
And Taurus, who didn't come out how I'd have liked at all. Might have to rethink these a bit more.
So its been just over a month since I last posted. Ouch :S Sorry for the delay. Though to be honest a lot has been happening recently in my mind and in life which has changed a lot.
I'm going to get this down in writing so I can gain some clarity to myself and use this sketchbook as ive always used it, to share my thoughts and document my journey, for my myself and for anyone else who can gain insight from It. This going to be long so I apologise in advance :p
So i'll start from the beginning, as ive mentioned before in previous posts ive been struggling more and more with being able to maintain a strong consistency to improving and grinding like I used too. It troubled me no end and I also put it down to me just becoming lazy and undisciplined so I buried it and tried to keep pushing. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get that fire blazing like it used too. I used to wake up early before anyone else at home and be working before everyone got up for work, then worked long after everyone went to bed. I got to a point where I wanted to start blending my meals so I could drink them while I painted to up my time production. It felt good though and I learnt so much in that time, not only about art but about myself, on how to achieve goals, about enduring the ups and downs, and building a strong mind. I suffered from depression before this and was on medication and I was able to completely eradicate it during this time.
My goal was always simple, get really fucking good and the work and money will follow. The idea of painting for a living, even if it meant doing other peoples ideas was awesome. I knew I could do it too, so it was all just about enduring the grind.
Then the day finally came where I got a few commissions and it quickly became a job. Although I was painting which was cool it was just that, painting. It just became a repetitive task to gain the end result. I could have just been painting walls and I didn't believe or care about the ideas. The pay was laughable too which just felt like a kick in the balls to be honest.
"Nevermind though, when I get better the jobs will get better" I told myself. Though the first seed of doubt had been sown. I endured with my own stuff and subconsciously had backed away from the freelance. Especially after I'd sent my stuff out and heard NOTHING back. I just figured I need to get better, which I probably did and still do. I was researching about freelancing and seeing the rates people where working for and was struggling to comprehend how people do it. And even the higher end jobs like lotc didn't seem all that great to be honest. Especially for what they require, super rendered everywhere with chicks big boobs. Really, when artist start out, is this their ultimate dream? And this is higher tier? A few more seeds had been sown.
Then a couple of months ago, I was doing my shit job which ive been doing for so long to finance me while I tried to make this art thing work and it just sent me over the edge. I worked roughly 14 hours mauling heavy furniture and got about £50. Best bit is my boss walked away with hundreds. And this wasn't a one off occasion. I'd had enough, and something had to change.
I was sick of living a poor mans life style. I want money. There I said it. "Dirty sell out! There's more important things in life than money! Money wont bring you happiness!" Are just a few of he things I told myself, but really I want wealth. The final seed was sown. Ive heard fabled tales of artists who make 6 figure salaries a year but ive never met one or even heard of one.
So that next day after the long work shift, I started listening to business podcasts, interviews, reading articles and reading/ listening to business audio books and just started absorbing info from everywhere and anywhere. It felt refreshing and inspiring and already ive learnt so much. I used to think business was all maths, spread sheets, and people in uniforms bullshitting one another. In truth it's not too much different from learning any other skill. And money itself is interesting. It creates so much emotion and dictates something completely different from one person to another. A lot of money is more about phycology and mind set compared to figures and maths.
Anyway, I'm drifting off topic. The point I'm making from this is over the past couple of months, from researching so much stuff in business ive come to learn some things which have changed my mind set and opened my mind to completely new avenues which were always there, I just couldn't see them. I'll try to bullet point the main ones.
1, It's not about the money - My ultimate vision as an artist was to try and impact the world some way. This sounds grand but I figured I could make change doing the one thing I loved more than anything else and the only thing I'm half good at. I wanted to bring something to peoples lives, which a simple 9-5 job could never do In my opinion. This is partly why I pretended i didn't care about the money, because my ultimate goal exceeded myself. The truth though, is more options are open to you with money and wealth. An example, Bill Gates or Richard Branson who are able to donate millions towards charities. Not only this but having money gives you more opportunities to invest in causes you believe in and brings a higher standard of living for yourself.
2, The higher the value, the larger the wealth - So in simple terms, if you want to make money and be rich you must provide equal amounts of value to the world. Bringing value to peoples lives is what ultimately makes you money. You think about the biggest companies or products, like apple, facebook or amazon for example, then look at the amount of value they've been able to provide and you'll start to see how this works. Think about the things in your life, you favourite services/ products and you'll see the pattern fits the same bill.
Now the thing ive been thinking is, how much value can a picture provide? It seems very limited to me. Is this why artist tend to make so little? Is there something bigger or more valuable that can be provided from this?
3, freelance VS business owner - Leading on from the previous point, you can outsource yourself to companies to contribute to games and films right? That way you contribute to something much bigger right? This is defiantly true and a worthy cause I guess if the game or film meets your vision. Also how will this benefit you financially? On the short term it will I guess in wages and freelance rates, unless you have shares in the actually license of the game, which if it succeeds will grant you revenue. The point is as a freelancer, YOU are the source of your income. You stop working or go away for some time, the income stops too. On the other hand if you create a business which provides a product or service then eventually you'll be able to take a step back and all being well things wont stop. If fact, if you build your business successfully then it'll continue to grow even when your not there. To me, building something like this, which scales organically and reaches more and more people in a positive way seems much more to my original vision than creating pictures does. Which takes me onto my final point for now I think...
4 - The race to the bottom - I heard a story which i'll try to quickly share with you now. A women creates a bunch of original t - shirts which originally do pretty well and so she wants to grow her business. She takes her t-shirts to retailers who agree to sell her t-shirts for a percentage of the profits. Awesome she thinks and reaches out to more retailers who do the same thing. Though what eventually happens is the retailers lower the price of her t -shirts to compete with other retailers selling the same shirt. The others do the same. Before long, her t-shirts are costing her money to make and her business is finished. The reason I bring this up is because ive found freelancers in this market are exactly the same. You only need to go and have a browse at the rates on deviantart to see a rat race of people fighting over one another to a race to the bottom with rates. What the point? Well the mass of artists doing this is partly the reason. Simply an oversaturation of people meeting the demand. Again goes back to the value being provided and why rates tend to be so low.
What's more is a lot of the time you are dispensable. Crazy to think of an artist just being another cog in the machine because we romanticise art as being unique but sadly its true. Your just being paid to paint x, y and z most of the time which if you cant do, next artist can just do it. If you don't believe this then just think about all the artist you know who paint chicks in armour with (insert weapon here). Are you unique? If someone was looking to employ you but couldn't are you irreplaceable? Remember your ideas might be unique to you but your being paid to paint other peoples ideas so at this point the only value you can provide is your painting ability. You've just become another cog.
So this has gone on a while now, and it's crazy how putting this down in writing like this clears my mind slightly and reveals truths I didn't even realise about myself. My point is I'm at a point now where I don't know where to head or what to do. I love art and creating designs, especially creatures and monsters! But I want to provide more, I want to start a business which reaches more people and provides more value for the world. I guess I just got so caught up in the whole 'grind for improvement' that ive lost sight on the bigger picture.
Now if you've made it this far then I've got to congratulate and commend you lol, and also thank you for taking such an interest in what ive got to say that your at this point but bear with me just a bit longer. I don't want this to be a post which brings people down or gives the impression that i've quit, because that's not true. In fact quite the opposite! I'm just more conscious of what I'm creating now and the reasons for it and looking for new ways to be unique and indispensable. My goals have shifted now too, even if I don't exactly know yet what they are now. I just want to bring as much joy to the world as possible and explore more of what life has to offer.
Thank you for everyone who has supported me on this journey this far, I want to give more to you all so if you have any ideas on how or what you would like to see from me in the future then please let me know. I'm planning on continuing my business knowledge quest and eventually im going to share absolutely everything with you guys.
Oh and here's a bit of art
studies
mind
And Taurus, who didn't come out how I'd have liked at all. Might have to rethink these a bit more.