Fedodika the Koala

[Fedodika]

Hey y'all... So recently i went with my relatives to Florida for a vaction and it was one of the most miserable experiences of my life. Nothing tragic happened, it was just the fact that I'm 22 now and have no independence and have an extreme urge to move out.  I vowed to myself "Never again" am I going to be dragged along with anyone for any reason. 

That being said, i had a bit of time to reflect even more on my art, much more introspectively than i did on my internet break. My art is my ticket out of here. It is the ticket to my independence and my happiness essentially. 

http://fedodika.deviantart.com/


I just don't know what to do man, it's like; how do you get art jobs online? Like what do i need to do? I'll do anything, what am I missing? Fundamentals? Consistency? Style? Presentation? If you could look at my deviantart or artstation and say anything, "this guy isn't getting jobs because _____" What is it? Sure you could pick apart the fundamentals of my work, but is that the only thing holding me back? It'd be really cool if that was the only problem was fundamentals. 

I often feel my work has no consistency, but i try to just do character illustrations. Is it just not marketable? I have a lot of followers on DA but it doesn't really help, it just adds comments and faves, which unfortunately you can't trade in for money lol. By the odd chance i got a loyal follower whose payed me (not much) pennies for three commissions. That's it though.

I admit i've never applied anywhere (professional) for work, but maybe it is a fantasy that you don't have to apply for work. I've applied to dozens of jobs on DA that might suit my style but no one replies. Am i ready for even low tier work? Is my art worth anything? I don't really care for praise, i just want stability or some sort of return for the countless hours of practice.

"Getting through the middle" Is a great podcast on Dan Warren's Youtube channel, where they say over and over that the amount of work you have to put in just to get a job in this field is insane. And you could be totally successful with a security net in any other field. 

I've had several people who work in the industry say they never even applied for jobs and still got those emails. Is it just a skill thing I'm not at yet? Maybe it is... Maybe it isn't. I know there's this skill barrier that people need to "cross" before they "get those emails." But does it all rush in at once? I've heard of people making just one piece and getting lots of work from it, does that really happen?

Is this all a cruel joke? 10,000 hours later... 
http://crimsondaggers.com/forum/thread-5415.html

I think of a one Simonarpalmer, a fellow old Crimson Dagger who got really great at the technical side of things, and then had to call it in and go move back home or something; He's back on the scene again and doing commercial work, so it seems to finally have worked out. When he wasn't getting work, i mean, his work was really good, nice colors, textures, and concepts. His proportions were off here and there and some of the faces could have been prettier, but does that really hold people back from work that much?

http://simonarpalmer.deviantart.com/

I guess so.

It's not hard, it's just perplexing, how i percieve things.

You see, i have this feeling that good things are right around the corner, but I've had this feeling for so long that I kinda don't trust it. I remember Sycra saying that if you have a problem in art, keep drawing. I look at work i recently did and i say, "this is bad" but i also hear professional artists say that about their work. 

This is all a real mindfuck tbh.

I love art, I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I want to do a lot with art, but i really want to get out of here lol. I'm better at music and acting than I'll ever be at art, but i don't want to do those things anymore. Maybe I should just keep drawing lol, Alabama sucks, never come here.

On a lighter note, here's a funny video: