Crimson Daggers — Art forum

Hey guys,

This is a commission for a music artist I know, so I really want it looking relatively professional by the time I'm finished (hard though that may be for me...)
This is the basic sketch of what I want going on, an artificial planet in the background (think deathstar :D ) and a crystal city, and just whacked in a waterfall to show that its a canyon that it is built on.
I have converted to grayscale and I can see that I havent pushed the second canyon outcrop back enough- it all kind of merges into one, but I'm not sure what I can do about it, other than make it lighter which looks odd.
As its an album cover, I decided that rule of thirds wasnt appropriate so I've gone for a central focus point, and there will be a little dude on the bottom right for scale.
Please let me know what I'm doing wrong here (be as brutal as you want), because even at this stage I know that it isnt looking right at all, looking very amateur indeed, though I have only spent a fairly short amount of time rendering.
I'm considering zooming out of the picture a bit more to reveal more of the canyon to explain the setting a bit more, I think that should help a lot.
Also, I have realised the planet is too dark in value, and i need to make the second outcrop lighter.
Anyway, I'd really appreciate any help I can get with this at this stage as soon as possible so I can crack on with it!
Thanks very much :)

Seeing as I strayed from the thumbs that I drew a fair amount, I went back to basics and just obliterated the foreground and got some atmospheric perspective in there.
Hopefully this helps, tell me what you think :)

I'm going to try helping you, though not an expert ;)
As I presume, the top of the crystal tower is supposed to be the focal point. So I would consider darkening the planet again, otherwise your crystal city's disappearing due to no contrast. Also, the waterfall is a nice idea to point out there's a canyon, but right now it looks like the city is sitting in the water. If that's the plan, ok, but again, the waterfall is the same value as the city as the planet so there's no contrast and it's basicly this huge white plane drawing all attention. I would make it smaller and darker. Show as the actual canyon the city is standing on. As a side effect, the canyons in front would come out more, since right now their edges are the same value as the waterfall, the city and the planet ;)
And finally: Lose those floating crystal thingies, they're just distracting the eye from the focal point without telling us anything. If you want to keep them, make them less dark, because that's what's making them stand out right now.
That's it. I hope this wasn't all nonsense and that I was able to help you somewhat. =)

(05-29-2013, 05:29 PM)Myriam Wrote: [ -> ]I'm going to try helping you, though not an expert ;)
As I presume, the top of the crystal tower is supposed to be the focal point. So I would consider darkening the planet again, otherwise your crystal city's disappearing due to no contrast. Also, the waterfall is a nice idea to point out there's a canyon, but right now it looks like the city is sitting in the water. If that's the plan, ok, but again, the waterfall is the same value as the city as the planet so there's no contrast and it's basicly this huge white plane drawing all attention. I would make it smaller and darker. Show as the actual canyon the city is standing on. As a side effect, the canyons in front would come out more, since right now their edges are the same value as the waterfall, the city and the planet ;)
And finally: Lose those floating crystal thingies, they're just distracting the eye from the focal point without telling us anything. If you want to keep them, make them less dark, because that's what's making them stand out right now.
That's it. I hope this wasn't all nonsense and that I was able to help you somewhat. =)

Yes i see what you mean with the waterfall, city, planet and rocks kinda merging, thats what I'm trying to stop but I find that if the planet is dark it doesnt make any sense for the other factors to be light. What I'm considering is just having the very outer line of the planet showing, the rest being sky, as you would at day, because otherwise its like having a very dark background but really light stuff in front of it.

Great idea with the waterfall, will make that narrower and draw some rock fo the city to be resting on, because your completely right with the city looking like its resting on water.

The crystal things arent essential so you are right there, they just pull focus and look silly :) Will play around with the darkness of the planet, i may just paint it all and then add the planet in the background and make it fit in that way, because otherwise im losing grip of what I should be doing with atmospheric perspective trying to get it to fit in with the planet.

None of that was nonsense, thanks very much youve been extremely helpful. Will work on it some more and then update. Thanks very much! :)

You're welcome and very right about the planet! Glad I was of help, I'm looking forward to the update =)