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Full Version: Feedback or paintover much appreciated
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Hey daggers,

I've had this image for a while and while I liked it at the time, I feel there's a lot to be improved on a fundamental level. The problem is that I can't quite put my finger on it.

The goal of this piece was to explore keyframe illustration, capturing a key moment in a story, and color grading it with a cinematic look. 

Anyone has some pointers I could do?

[attachment=120540]

EDIT: Sorry but I can't remove the second image that is attached for some reason! Feel free to ignore it.
Honestly looks really cool. I don't really know much about it, but it feels very cinematic, dark and foreboding. The rolling wave in the corner looks really cool.

One thing I will say is that there are certain things which give it a very 3D model kind of vibe. The shape and edge of the mountains in the background for one. It's nice that there's a little bit of softness and chromatic variation in the edge of those mountains, so that they aren't completely cut out. But the contour is very uniform and also quite smooth. So it doesn't feel like real mountains in the distance.

The ship as well has wonderful detail in the rigging and sails, however If you were to see this scene in real life, or even in a movie, I highly doubt you'd be able to pick out every single strand of rope, or for that matter care to. So that combined with the mountains make it feel a little like a model ship close to us, rather than a real ship that is far away. Maybe that's nitpicky, but I feel like there's not much point in having the eye drawn to details on the ship that don't really have anything to do with the mood of the piece. Might as well paint over them!

But for what you were going for, I think this works really well. I don't know that much about this stuff, so feel free to ignore. But if this helps, great!
Hey gerbenpasjes! It's a great looking piece! And I also agree with what Joseph has said about it.

What really stuck out to me is just how uniform the two masts in the center of the image feel. Everything around them has this really nice sense of organic movement to it, but then you have these two masts center image that are so close in shape size that they feel too uniform/identical for the rest of the image (imo anyway). Maybe playing around with size difference and sail shape would help combat this? I don't claim to know anything about ships lmao, but I know a lot of ye oldy ships had the middle mast as the biggest.

Also in terms of sizes you could think about the flags in relation to the sails. The right flag is giant (you could probably say it's as big as the top deck). So maybe playing around with size relationships would help??

Idk if that was helpful but regardless, you've definitely captured the feeling of it being in the moment of a story. It's a great image
Great job with the technical aspect of it! I think the problem is the design of the composition and the storytelling.
Design wise -  there is no flow / visual path which guides the viewer's eye where they should look at - where they enter and exit the painting. Another aspect is , there is not enough contrast in the focal point. I think the lights on the ship and the white of the wave where it touches the ship(bottom right) should be more bright so your eye knows exactly where to look at. At the moment the most strong value/color is the sky in the upper right 
[Image: NcZD2Q9.png]

The storytelling aspect is also very important inmo to make something feel cinematic, that is literary the whole point of keyframes - to illustrate key moments. In this image the light feels cinematic, technically it is correct, but it looks like a snapshot in between moments of something happening story wise.  May be you should extend  the canvas a bit and add some elements to the island they are heading to or may be some ship wrecks in the water in order to add some context, because so far it feels more like a crop of a keyframe.

Overall technically you did a great job inmo, I just think the image has compositional problems - where the viewer should look and story problems - what is the point of this ship, why are we looking at it.

If you got so far and executed it so well, i think you would have no problem fixing this issue.
Hmm thanks everyone! I think you brought up some very valid points and I'll take a stab at doing those! Will update in this thread once I tried it.