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+--- Thread: Looking for critique! (/thread-8807.html)
Looking for critique! - JyonnyNovice - 03-14-2020
Hey Daggers!
Looking for some critique from you generous souls!
Kind of riffing on (ripping off) Moana for this instagram DTIYS challenge.
The main weakness, I think, is the colour and light, I know there is a ton of stuff more I could do with it but I've kind of reached my limit. I don't know how to proceed further ¬_¬
Much appreciate you taking the time to look at it even if you don't reply ^_^b
RE: Looking for critique! - Artloader - 03-14-2020
Hey man, nice start. I will give a more detailed critique when I get chance but wanted to give you something real quick now as I don't know what timescales you're under ...
The shadows on your character don't match up with the position of the sun.
The shadows suggest that the sun is up higher, probably off the top of the panel?
Maybe have another look at this.
Good luck :).
RE: Looking for critique! - Artloader - 03-14-2020
I like the tilted horizon line :) makes the scene more dynamic in my opinion.
RE: Looking for critique! - JyonnyNovice - 03-14-2020
nice one, thanks for the feedback! I was aware of the shadow buuut I dunno, can I get away with leaving it since it's a nice shape, would a non artist notice or care? I repainted that shadow a few times but never got it to feel as pleasing as it is above. I know what you mean though, technically I should fix it since I included a couple of other more realistic type lights, I should be consistent. I'll repaint the shadow and see if I can get something good - I guess I could still get a bit of her hand and the bottom part of the rope casting a shadow on the edge of her skirt and be more realistic.
I have til April 1st to finish this, I like how it's turned out so far so gonna keep tinkering with it on and off for a while. Any additional feedback would be awesome ^_^
RE: Looking for critique! - JyonnyNovice - 03-17-2020
Did some more work on this, repainted the waves after doing material studies, repainted the clouds so they match style more, added sunbeams, adjusted colour and lighting, moved the cast shadow on her body. Is it getting better? Or getting too messy/contrasty/over saturated?
RE: Looking for critique! - Artloader - 03-18-2020
Hi Jyonny, wow the water is looking awesome man - great job.
I had another look at this piece and took the liberty of doing a quick paint-over just to illustrate a few ideas I had for you:
1. I took out the sun and assumed that it is located somewhere up above the top edge of the frame.
2. I gave the fully lit planes a warm light.
3. I gave the shadow planes a cooler light.
4. I played with the shadow shapes on her skirt assuming the light is coming down vertically.
5. I added some reflected light onto her legs, the underside of her skirt and in the shadow on her right torso.
6. I made the higher clouds more strongly lit by the sun and gave the light a warmer hue.
7. I changed the shadows on her legs to match a top down light direction.
Hope this helps, if not please ignore but either way - best of luck my friend :).
RE: Looking for critique! - JyonnyNovice - 03-19-2020
Yea that's awesome! Thanks so much, definitely works well with the sun out of the way.
I did more work on it before seeing this, I'm kind of fatigued by this piece so may just call it done, but will see tomorrow it is really tempting to repaint it with the top down light. The sun was an element included in the original image, since it's a 'draw this in your style' thing I was stubbornly keeping it there. No reason I can't remove it though, who cares about the challenge at the end of the day xD
Here is where I got to now, might possibly be the last one.
RE: Looking for critique! - xelfereht - 06-13-2020
(03-19-2020, 12:43 AM)JyonnyNovice Wrote: Yea that's awesome! Thanks so much, definitely works well with the sun out of the way.
I did more work on it before seeing this, I'm kind of fatigued by this piece so may just call it done, but will see tomorrow it is really tempting to repaint it with the top down light. The sun was an element included in the original image, since it's a 'draw this in your style' thing I was stubbornly keeping it there. No reason I can't remove it though, who cares about the challenge at the end of the day xD
Here is where I got to now, might possibly be the last one.
Hey, I know it's late but thought I'd chuck in a few thoughts for future stuff..
I think the waters has developed nicely. It's vibrant and appealing..
Something that might be holding the image back is the lack of shape and size variety
allot of the visible shapes are of similar width and that lack of contrast can reduce some of the impact of a piece like this.
the clouds shape wise are very regular and look of a completely different level of finish or look making the piece feel unfinished. The overlapping ares feel very tentative and always such a tiny portion overlapping. again this is a place where contract and variety in the size and amount of overlap can push depth in the piece.
anyway yah haha.. nice piece though. good stuff