11-13-2016, 02:13 AM
Adzerak Hey dude! I stopped after the summer break so I could focus on school. Need to redo the challenge and finish it. Maybe not a year in a row though. Lost a lot of sleep!
Hmmm thank you man. This was pretty good to read right now. I'll see if I can remake it into something for like a Hearthstone portfolio. Great idea! :)
Warning for real talk:
The art of losing yourself
If there even was something to lose from the beginning. Seems as if the last couple of months have been dedicated to the act of trying to stand again after sitting on your ever numbing legs for a long time. The blood rushes back from your body and into the numbed limb again. But there's some adjustment time needed.
I'm apparently very easily affected by outside impressions. Giving way for what is expected of me. I used to work in a way that allowed me to create things each day, finish a couple of images and then resetting next morning. Fueled by a lot of anger and having something to prove. This was a while ago and it's not been the same since I got admitted into a 3D game school. An individual can easily get lost. Constant comparison to others, be it classmates or the industry, is very stressful. But it's also very focused and concentrated. Like a patterned maelstrom of reaction, you get sucked into it.
The anger is also lost, replaced with some mix of nostalgia, sadness and longing. So it's impossible to use what once was as a motivational fuel again. At the same time I don't feel burned out. I'm not tired. I'm kind of over-stimulated in my brain in that there's so many ideas that want to escape but I don't feel good enough or have time to explore them.
I got an internship in the games industry. I should feel very happy about it. But in reality I don't. I'm not sure what I want to do with my future, so obviously I'm having a hard time living in the present. How do you even do that, live in the present. Is it the art of not thinking about anything going on around you? It's not like I haven't tried.
So I want to find something new. A new sort of fuel that can propel me and maybe reach a goal that I didn't expect.
Hmmm thank you man. This was pretty good to read right now. I'll see if I can remake it into something for like a Hearthstone portfolio. Great idea! :)
Warning for real talk:
The art of losing yourself
If there even was something to lose from the beginning. Seems as if the last couple of months have been dedicated to the act of trying to stand again after sitting on your ever numbing legs for a long time. The blood rushes back from your body and into the numbed limb again. But there's some adjustment time needed.
I'm apparently very easily affected by outside impressions. Giving way for what is expected of me. I used to work in a way that allowed me to create things each day, finish a couple of images and then resetting next morning. Fueled by a lot of anger and having something to prove. This was a while ago and it's not been the same since I got admitted into a 3D game school. An individual can easily get lost. Constant comparison to others, be it classmates or the industry, is very stressful. But it's also very focused and concentrated. Like a patterned maelstrom of reaction, you get sucked into it.
The anger is also lost, replaced with some mix of nostalgia, sadness and longing. So it's impossible to use what once was as a motivational fuel again. At the same time I don't feel burned out. I'm not tired. I'm kind of over-stimulated in my brain in that there's so many ideas that want to escape but I don't feel good enough or have time to explore them.
I got an internship in the games industry. I should feel very happy about it. But in reality I don't. I'm not sure what I want to do with my future, so obviously I'm having a hard time living in the present. How do you even do that, live in the present. Is it the art of not thinking about anything going on around you? It's not like I haven't tried.
So I want to find something new. A new sort of fuel that can propel me and maybe reach a goal that I didn't expect.