10-11-2015, 10:55 PM
Jeso: I'm so jealous of your productivity, man. Your work just looks better and better. I hope to get back on board soon. I'm making really rushed/sloppy/messy work right now. I'm just not focused. Having some serious ADD problems. I know I can do better, though-- I am capable of doing so much better.
And I plan to... THIS COMING WEEK.
BOOKEND'S WEEKLY REVIEW:
So, this week sucked. I did a horrible assignment #2. I'm not ashamed to say it-- It was ghastly. It's partly my lack of confidence and frustration with my work, and partly my fear of really trying, I guess? I don't know.
I just didn't really feel like I could push it the way everyone else did. The majority of the work for assignment #2 really shined, and my work was like crude, children's drawings. I know it. And there is a very dark side of me that's saying that I will never be able to successfully do well, that I will never get better with my imaginative works. Especially last night-- I was at the bottom. That rushed tree painting made me feel like I was banging my head against the wall.
But, I know that what I'm telling myself isn't true. If I'm capable of doing excellent, precise and accurate studies, then I'm capable of doing this same work in my imaginative studies. I just haven't practiced the latter enough, and I can't let myself be afraid to. I have to carry this into all areas of my work.
So, the last two weeks have been really grotesque in terms of my improvement, and I know what I should be doing, but haven't been doing it.
A part of me just wants to work at my work and maybe not even show it for awhile, until I tackle these areas that I know I'm having trouble with. It doesn't seem fair that I'd waste other people's time critiquing my work when I'm giving myself the exact same critiques.
But, regardless-- I think that drilling the same thing in your head over and over again is a pretty sure-fire way to learn.
Anyway, sorry for my lengthy review, especially since I haven't accomplished much this week. But, I'm considering this a kind of blog post to air out my thoughts on my work, or lack thereof, and try to come to terms with it, and move forward.
Like my wife often says-- Nothing to it, but to do it.
And I plan to... THIS COMING WEEK.
BOOKEND'S WEEKLY REVIEW:
So, this week sucked. I did a horrible assignment #2. I'm not ashamed to say it-- It was ghastly. It's partly my lack of confidence and frustration with my work, and partly my fear of really trying, I guess? I don't know.
I just didn't really feel like I could push it the way everyone else did. The majority of the work for assignment #2 really shined, and my work was like crude, children's drawings. I know it. And there is a very dark side of me that's saying that I will never be able to successfully do well, that I will never get better with my imaginative works. Especially last night-- I was at the bottom. That rushed tree painting made me feel like I was banging my head against the wall.
But, I know that what I'm telling myself isn't true. If I'm capable of doing excellent, precise and accurate studies, then I'm capable of doing this same work in my imaginative studies. I just haven't practiced the latter enough, and I can't let myself be afraid to. I have to carry this into all areas of my work.
So, the last two weeks have been really grotesque in terms of my improvement, and I know what I should be doing, but haven't been doing it.
A part of me just wants to work at my work and maybe not even show it for awhile, until I tackle these areas that I know I'm having trouble with. It doesn't seem fair that I'd waste other people's time critiquing my work when I'm giving myself the exact same critiques.
But, regardless-- I think that drilling the same thing in your head over and over again is a pretty sure-fire way to learn.
Anyway, sorry for my lengthy review, especially since I haven't accomplished much this week. But, I'm considering this a kind of blog post to air out my thoughts on my work, or lack thereof, and try to come to terms with it, and move forward.
Like my wife often says-- Nothing to it, but to do it.
