CC4 CTrow WIP

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CC4 CTrow WIP

JyonnyNovice Offline

Dripping Crimson

Posts: 1,137
Threads: 18
Joined: Apr 2014
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06-13-2016, 05:40 AM

Great start! I love how your characters are looking already! I like the way your story is going but it feels like it's not quite a punchline yet, like there could be some kind of twist, or messing with the readers expectations. Just a couple thoughts anyway - and admittedly I don't know if 'corpulent wiener' has some kind of innuendo meaning in USA or something that I'm missing, so maybe it's already fine ^^ Looking forward to seeing this one develop ^^

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CC4 CTrow WIP - by CTrow - 06-13-2016, 02:36 AM

RE: CC4 CTrow WIP - by JyonnyNovice - 06-13-2016, 05:40 AM

RE: CC4 CTrow WIP - by CTrow - 06-13-2016, 05:47 AM

RE: CC4 CTrow WIP - by JyonnyNovice - 06-13-2016, 06:05 AM

RE: CC4 CTrow WIP - by CTrow - 06-13-2016, 06:24 AM

RE: CC4 CTrow WIP - by TwilightExplode - 06-14-2016, 12:36 AM

RE: CC4 CTrow WIP - by CTrow - 06-14-2016, 03:04 AM

RE: CC4 CTrow WIP - by CTrow - 06-14-2016, 03:42 AM