smrrfette's Odyssey

[JyonnyNovice]

Hey smrr, reading the bit above about the comic things made things more clear, over here at least dice aren't contraband in jail (as far as I know, and we don't really have dice gambling games either, I think that's why I didn't get it first time). There is another issue that we can't tell he's a guard from looking at him, and other point is that the attention is on the map, so the map in his hand feels more important.

I think you can fix all these things with dialogue in the last panel, if you have stacked speech bubbles so they say lines back and forth, like two lines each it can work. Like "what the hells this? You gambling son?" "No officer! We're playing DND!" "Horse shit!" Something like that, so the reader is given the information that 1) he's a guard 2) he's suspected of gambling (which is safer to assume people know its not cool to do that in prison) and 3) that they were playing dnd (noticed it says it on the map, which works if you can make it more noticeable) then the picture gives the information that its a prison by his jumpsuit and DOC insignia.

Sorry if I came across in a harsh way or suggested stuff you did already! Hella sleepy but had to tell you my thoughts before I go crash cause i think its a cool comic thats so nearly there! All just my opinion anyway! Hope you get to finish it.