Hey everybody! I was browsing crackedskulls' sketchbook and this post by walent really spoke to me. I've decided it's time for another try at this online art posting thing. This sketchbook is going to document my next steps toward working as a professional artist. (I hope!)
I recently put some thought into what I want most from my art right now, and it's this: to paint cinematic scenes that tell stories and portray striking moments or moods. I'd also love to make heaps of kickass fanart and awesome character sketches all day long. I want to be able to draw dynamic characters with great anatomy from my imagination. (Think Mikel Janin's Dick Grayson or Esad Ribic's Thor. Idealized comic book figures are the greatest.) I want to capture likenesses without sight-sizing everything or spending hours tweaking details when it's actually the foundation that's busted. Oh, and I have career aspirations! Someday I'd like to be a freelance illustrator or work at a game developer or movie studio.
The problem is, after years of passive study with only occasional active practice, my eye is way better than my hand. I think most of my work is stupid. Riddled with obvious mistakes. Just plain subpar, right? And when it's not plainly flawed, it's plainly boring. Direct copies from reference that don't say or mean anything. I disappoint myself when I fall short of the artists I look up to, and browsing the insane work on Artstation or Pinterest is equally depressing and inspiring.
Let me be honest with you: I love art. I love the feeling of seeing an awesome image. I love studying art and making art. Man, when I don't overthink things, I can spend 12 hours hacking away in Photoshop, with no concept of time. Art is endlessly fascinating to me. It's just that I get so discouraged when I try to make something I care about. I feel like I'm always starting at square one, and nothing I practice is going to make a difference, because I'm so far from where I want to be and I've already wasted so much time. It's so hard to stick to one thing. Most days, I feel trapped in an endless cycle of wanting to make something cool, taking a weak stab at it, quitting way too soon because I got distracted or all the different parts are so overwhelming, and maybe eventually doing some lame aimless studies that don't help me with the long list of skills I need to work on. I do that, or I waste time on other unproductive ways to practice without actually accomplishing anything. 10+ years of this... go me!
If I had the money, I would charge straight down to Concept Design Academy and learn my fundamentals with seasoned teachers. I can work hard when I have direction. It would really help me out to have skilled people who can answer my art questions.
I guess for now the best thing to do is try to develop better study habits? And start working on the kind of art I want to make? And try not to care when everything sucks and nothing works out and I'm back to wasting time again? Aghaaghaghghgh.
I have such a hard time studying alone. I want a community. I want to connect with other artists, and find friends who are serious about improving. People who know the struggle to get good. I'd especially like to find mentors who have gone through their own version of this ordeal, and can shed some light on what, exactly, worked for them. I'm almost 30. Imagine how awful it would be to hit 35 without getting anywhere! At that stage I think I'd have to retreat to some local school and learn a dull trade.
On that note, welcome to my party zone! Here's a sample of the stuff I show everybody when I tell them I'm a kind-of artist, because I have no finished work to speak of, and nothing that really represents my artistic aims and interests.
(2013 - 2014)
.png "Filename: Studybook 0001 (2013-10-07 Komodo Dragon Study 001).png
Size: 372.5 KB09-30-2016, 01:24 AM")
 (wip-002).jpg "Filename: Studybook 0003 (2014-04-26 Sorceress-Edea (FF8 Cosplay) (wip-002).jpg
Size: 489.8 KB09-30-2016, 01:25 AM")
.png "Filename: Studybook 0004 (2014-02-14 Steer in Field).png
Size: 200.1 KB09-30-2016, 01:26 AM")
.jpg "Filename: Studybook 0019 (2014-05-10 Rembrandt Study).jpg
Size: 494.93 KB09-30-2016, 01:26 AM")
).jpg "Filename: Studybook 0024 (2014-05-26 Lantern Night (lijiang_yunnan_china)).jpg
Size: 510.67 KB09-30-2016, 01:28 AM")
).jpg "Filename: Studybook 0031 (2014-02-19 Polish Air Force MIG Study (wip002)).jpg
Size: 152.28 KB09-30-2016, 01:31 AM")
.jpg "Filename: Studybook 0017 (2014-05-04 Snowy Bridge).jpg
Size: 509.37 KB09-30-2016, 01:30 AM")
.jpg "Filename: Studybook 0042 (2014-07-24 Ocean Girl Study).jpg
Size: 479.25 KB09-30-2016, 01:31 AM")
.jpg "Filename: Studybook 0039 (2014-07-19 Animal Sketches 001).jpg
Size: 209.29 KB09-30-2016, 01:39 AM")
.jpg "Filename: 2016-09-28 Lambs Crimson Daggers av (100x100).jpg
Size: 11.45 KB09-30-2016, 01:33 AM")
(2015)
-[WIP01].jpg "Filename: 2015-04-06-the-pale-nymph-(Sargent-palette)-[WIP01].jpg
Size: 581.83 KB09-30-2016, 01:35 AM")
.jpg "Filename: 2015-08-14-Skull-Study-(WIP).jpg
Size: 157.76 KB09-30-2016, 01:37 AM")
(2016)
-[WIP].jpg "Filename: 2016-05-06-rock-(w-grass)-[WIP].jpg
Size: 233.83 KB09-30-2016, 01:44 AM")
.jpg "Filename: 2016-05-31-earthy-face-nr-(web).jpg
Size: 99.53 KB09-30-2016, 01:46 AM")
.jpg "Filename: 2016-08-29 samurai purple (animation sketches).jpg
Size: 256.42 KB09-30-2016, 01:49 AM")
.jpg "Filename: 2016-08-29 courtesans (animation sketches).jpg
Size: 677.01 KB09-30-2016, 01:50 AM")
And here's a sample of stuff I think is cool, which also makes me want to climb into a deep hole of shame and inadequacy, and live in squalor forever with the earthworms and moles.
That's all for now. I hope this ends up being one of those sketchbooks that starts out totally "meh" and then you skip ahead a couple of years and you're like "OMG WOW, WHAT EVEN HAPPENED?!"
I recently put some thought into what I want most from my art right now, and it's this: to paint cinematic scenes that tell stories and portray striking moments or moods. I'd also love to make heaps of kickass fanart and awesome character sketches all day long. I want to be able to draw dynamic characters with great anatomy from my imagination. (Think Mikel Janin's Dick Grayson or Esad Ribic's Thor. Idealized comic book figures are the greatest.) I want to capture likenesses without sight-sizing everything or spending hours tweaking details when it's actually the foundation that's busted. Oh, and I have career aspirations! Someday I'd like to be a freelance illustrator or work at a game developer or movie studio.
The problem is, after years of passive study with only occasional active practice, my eye is way better than my hand. I think most of my work is stupid. Riddled with obvious mistakes. Just plain subpar, right? And when it's not plainly flawed, it's plainly boring. Direct copies from reference that don't say or mean anything. I disappoint myself when I fall short of the artists I look up to, and browsing the insane work on Artstation or Pinterest is equally depressing and inspiring.
Let me be honest with you: I love art. I love the feeling of seeing an awesome image. I love studying art and making art. Man, when I don't overthink things, I can spend 12 hours hacking away in Photoshop, with no concept of time. Art is endlessly fascinating to me. It's just that I get so discouraged when I try to make something I care about. I feel like I'm always starting at square one, and nothing I practice is going to make a difference, because I'm so far from where I want to be and I've already wasted so much time. It's so hard to stick to one thing. Most days, I feel trapped in an endless cycle of wanting to make something cool, taking a weak stab at it, quitting way too soon because I got distracted or all the different parts are so overwhelming, and maybe eventually doing some lame aimless studies that don't help me with the long list of skills I need to work on. I do that, or I waste time on other unproductive ways to practice without actually accomplishing anything. 10+ years of this... go me!
If I had the money, I would charge straight down to Concept Design Academy and learn my fundamentals with seasoned teachers. I can work hard when I have direction. It would really help me out to have skilled people who can answer my art questions.
I guess for now the best thing to do is try to develop better study habits? And start working on the kind of art I want to make? And try not to care when everything sucks and nothing works out and I'm back to wasting time again? Aghaaghaghghgh.
I have such a hard time studying alone. I want a community. I want to connect with other artists, and find friends who are serious about improving. People who know the struggle to get good. I'd especially like to find mentors who have gone through their own version of this ordeal, and can shed some light on what, exactly, worked for them. I'm almost 30. Imagine how awful it would be to hit 35 without getting anywhere! At that stage I think I'd have to retreat to some local school and learn a dull trade.
On that note, welcome to my party zone! Here's a sample of the stuff I show everybody when I tell them I'm a kind-of artist, because I have no finished work to speak of, and nothing that really represents my artistic aims and interests.
(2013 - 2014)
(2015)
(2016)
And here's a sample of stuff I think is cool, which also makes me want to climb into a deep hole of shame and inadequacy, and live in squalor forever with the earthworms and moles.
That's all for now. I hope this ends up being one of those sketchbooks that starts out totally "meh" and then you skip ahead a couple of years and you're like "OMG WOW, WHAT EVEN HAPPENED?!"