Beau's Sketchbook

[beau]

I really fell off the wagon, huh? Well, I've got reasons, wether they're good enough to warrant this much of a break from posting? I'm not sure. I've been having a lot of anxiety about medical stuff, and relationships, and just general hopelessness... despite my antidepressant. The antidepressant basically blocked all those negative feelings until a couple weeks ago, then they came back all at once and basically crippled me mentally. Lol, that makes it sound worse than it is, but it makes concentrating and focusing on self development hard. I've been thinking maybe I can get around that by doing painting studies, because they're usually less thought-intensive for me- I don't have to be accurate with llines so much, so I don't have to concentrate so hard, which would make it easier to physically make the movements with my stylus. I'll do some studies now, probably face and lips, and also some hat studies because I'm making a character sheet for a game. (He's basically Indiana Jones, so I can use him as ref).

I photographed a few of my most current sketchbooks and tried to upload them to dropbox, but technology hates me and I haven't been able to upload all of them. I want to share these to give a more focused look at my progress and issues, and give a cohesive look... I have like March-June of one of them, which I'll edit together probably this weekend. Slacking on client work so I waited til the last minute for a couple of projects, lol. I'm not the most organized.

Anyway, here's some stuff from the past couple weeks, or whenever I stopped postting. Tring to really make stroke conservation a thing, the single line studies I feel help with that, even if they look terrible. Do they help anyone else? It's not as easy for me as it looks, am I just wasting my time though? I feel like I'm cheating myself when I do them, yet afterwards my lines feel like they take less focus to get accurate. I don't know. By the way, it could just be that I'm really, REALLY bad at drawing faces, because aside from a couple stylized, abstracted faces in the same angle, I haven't drawn many faces in the past couple years. I never, ever drew them realistically either, and this is basically my first time drawing a nose.

I know it's just a series of shapes, but I can't help thinking 'you're drawing a nose right now.'

I feel super guilty by the way, but feel free to rip me a new one.