04-01-2021, 02:34 AM
Quote:It just bad cycle of not being able to let go of the desire to have the best outcome possible.
Isn't that the source of the issue you're having though? I don't really see the whole conundrum you're having as being art related but rather firmly tied to your fear of not being good enough. If you can come to terms that this is an ego-driven problem you might then put all those mental gymnastics aside and focus on what really matters: nothing but practice. Thought is overrated :P.
If it's not something you manage to do on your own volition, you could speak to someone, there's no shame in it. If this is making you suffer and you can't seem to rationalize your way out of it (which seems to be the case here), maybe you could talk to someone to help you overcome that mental hurdle you seem to be struggling with here.
I hope you leave those concerns aside and just go back to drawing and painting. There's no worse position to be in than to be paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes. When you worry about not using the optimal route, you're wasting time you could be using experimenting and learning empirically on your own.
Suppose you showed your portfolio and it turned out not to be good enough? So what? They won't jail you for it. You just then go back to practice and try again. If it's still not good enough, then you keep trying until it sticks. You won't fail as long as you don't give up. Eventually you'll figure things out provided you keep trying and follow your instincts. No one can give you advice which is 100% foolproof and will guarantee you anything job-related.
If you feel inclined to reply to this to explain things, you'd just continue going in circles in my opinion. Again, my two cents.