Anvar's Sketchbook till I get better

[Dominicque]

Hi Anwar and welcome to the forum! I think I can concur on doing straight master copies. It can help, but it can also get pretty boring. I was recently doing some studies of people sitting for an image I wanted to do and felt my productivity wander. I was only when I used that image as a basis for an OC did the enjoyment start to spring back up. Informative and fun. To add onto Darktiste's comment as switching it up, by drawing the same thing and making (un)conscious choices helps to get things to stick and also a good creative flow if you're in a creative rut.  Pretty much agree with the rest of your reply.

You have a very sound economy of brush strokes. I see you use a quite large brush. It's super amazing you can draw and capture the light so well just from your head. I'm extremely impressed with your latest imagination exploration. It's still dark, but less muted than the first images and the lighting is very strong, especially the highlights on the face. I also want to commend you on trying a top-down perspective as a more challenging composition. Really looking forward to seeing more of your work and perspective around here!

Hello Dominicque and thank you for your warm welcome. 

I totally agree that master copies become really boring when done just by themselves alone. The difference between imaginative exploration exercises and pure studies is vast. The enjoyment I get from painting a scene I have in mind is something that can't be matched with any exercise. And as a lot of things in art, your productivity heavily relies on your enjoyment. I will expand my roster to include more of these exercises that require drawing something from imagination. 

Thank you for all the feedback, it is very nice to hear, especially from a person who has been very consistent with their sketchbook thread.

Hi Anvar, it's only very recently that I've started to draw out ideas I've had in my head for a while. I was always in the mind set of 'I need to learn anatomy, perspective, form, value, colour theory, composition, etc, before I can draw what I actually want.' Coupled with the cognitive distortion that using references, including gleaning from favourite artists was akin to 'plagiarism', with all the opprobrium that comes with that. Mark making was mentally exhausting, because I never felt done, therefore the bar to clear just gets higher, and higher and higher... I'm trying to cleanse myself of this mentality. Doing studies towards a larger goal is always better, I find they I slow down too, and my focus doesn't wander. I guess that's great for long time retention. And, most importantly, you learn whilst having fun. Sometimes a study can feel like 'pulling teeth' if that's not what you want to be good at or create. It's a procrastination barrier. 

As I draw now, I get flashes of ideas in my head, so I either note them down or jot down a quick, perfunctory sketch. I always used to get super upset of /not/ being able to draw things super correctly, and used that (amongst others) as a 'value judgement' on myself as an artist, especially since drawing from imagination was/is the ultimate goal for mine. So, I'm super impressed my you. Especially, your seeming innate knowledge of lighting scenarios. I could really use advice.
I decided to try and buckle down and actually do a family 'lookbook' of a fandom I'm apart of, after putting it off for so long. I actually got PureRef to work for me. I was so reluctant to use a pose from a photo, even though it fit perfectly for what I needed. However, I did it yesterday and found myself really enjoying myself, and going through the process of finding the right poses , outfits and compositions. It came out so easy, I was so surprised! I have more to go, but I think it's best for me to really lean in to the process and the research part rather than the final image.

Hello, Dominicque. I am always glad when another artists gets a breather and regains the pure enjoyment we are always chasing. I absolutely understand the situation with not being able to put anything on the canvas because every step, including the first stroke of a brush is calculated as wrong and inaccurate. I've been there and done that many, many times and have been fighting this mental pattern since I've gotten somewhat better at art. 

The problem of not being able to put a mark on the canvas because of all the imperfections stems from a vast difference we have in two skills: Observing art vs Making art. See, I am of the opinion that our eye, our perception gets better when we look at good and highly-skilled pictures all the time. The more we look, the more we understand how things are supposed to look like and we start to recognize what is possible in art. Then, after looking so much and taking that information in, we sit down and start painting, and nothing we put on the canvas looks even remotely as good as the works of art we consider to be good. Art making skill didn't improve, it is only our critic that did. And mind you, I think it is very important to have a very good cognitive critic, but that has to come with a comparable skill of art making to match it. 

Concerning your second paragraph, it is like I am reading something I would write. I think you are on a very good path if you enjoy researching and collecting references. It is crucial to have them so that you can create something more than what your visual library allows you to currently. But more importantly, I wanted to note on your willingness to go through the process itself. A couple of years ago, I had a talk with Clint Cearly, if you are into MTG, you probably know this guy, and his advice to me was to create a process for yourself that will allow a better quality of a picture at the end of it. There is great value in having that structure when you know what steps to take to achieve an image that you have in your mind. I will, however, say one thing that is very important. Once you are on the other side of this approach that relies on structured process, (and I am talking about years of implementing it) I would really ask you not to devoid yourself of spontaneity that sketching without much preparation brings you. I realized recently that I suffocated myself with a process and painting became a set of rules to follow on each and every step instead of this great and fun process of trying things out as you go. I am sure you will get through it successfully, and the only that will make painting more fun without much preparation is studying art. 

By the way, I commend you for having such a difficult goal in mind. Mine is the same. Painting from imagination, I think, is the truest show of your skill in art. And if you have any questions about lighting and just generally, I am always open. 
Also, PureRef is the best.

Well Anvar, I'm glad to find a kindred spirit. Someone who's not just had the same struggles as me, but has also 'come out of the other side' pretty successfully, I might add. I know you are posting here to improve, but your art is such a high quality already. It shows a humble person, but I also hope you recognise how skilled you actually are. It can be hard to see it ourselves, we are so in the 'trenches', that we get 'lost in the sauce'. I suppose it's relative really. When compared to the people around me, I get praise on my work. However, it feels unrequited to me, because of the people I've compared myself with since I was a child. See the famous quote about 'Good taste', by Ira Glass. We just need to get past the 'gap'.

The whole 'eyes developing before out hands do', is such a killer. There's nothing more annoying that knowing that something is wrong, a vestigial hunch, a lingering sense that something's uncanny, yet not understanding 'Why'. Understanding 'the Why', allows us to figure out the 'How', in 'How do I fix this?'. It's important we are open to criticism, how other and ourselves. However, we must remind ourselves about the difference between 'constructive criticism' and 'destructive criticism'. We can be guilt of that ourselves. So much research on the Kruger-dunnings of the world, we need more on those with 'Imposter Syndrome'. 

My ultimate goal was suffocating my current and future ability. So, I'm parking it now and focusing on reference use. I have to get there so way. I do tend to find myself on the other side of not using ref now, feeling I either can't draw, or draw my best without refs. So, it's nice to hear that comes with time. It's super, duper hard to get back into that child-like state of drawing organically without critical 'stop-starts', nature's 'kruger-dunnings'. I'm still doing essentially 'exposure therapy' to dull (and hopefully vanquish) my Plagiarism OCD, so one day at a time. But, God/Hope willing there'll be a day where I won't worry about using reference and can riff images straight from my head, without worrying that the final artwork 'isn't mine'.   

I've never heard of the name 'Clint Cearly', but I do recognise the artwork. The old man, with the Santa beard, definitely triggered a memory! I wonder did he used to post on CA.org, BITD?

Thank you for saying you would give feedback! Yeah, I'm besotted with PureRef now that I'm got it to work. SOOO much more convenient that having a thousand tabs and putting them in Clip. Just need to find an easier way to zoom in and out quickly. The lookbook I'm working on now has over 40 images. I just hope my computer can handle all the images being saved.