10-23-2013, 08:46 PM
1. The perspective is slightly warped and wrong. The extreme distortion in the foreground isn't matched by the texture in the upper levels of the columns. Remember texture has to follow perspective too. In fact I think the ground plane where the columns are don't meet the actual ground plane according to perspective. Look at the converging lines of the floor and the angle of the ground plane at the foot of the columns...
2. I don't think the horse is proportionally in perspective either (that head looks massive)
3. The drapery is very loose at the moment and could do with a lot more love. Do more studies to get this right. Someone else said it as well "where are her legs"?
4. The lighting is inconsistent and incomplete. You seem to render shadow and form well, but you render it locally with less regard to overall light sources, so things like the horse's forelegs which should be mostly in shadow aren't, and I think this stems from a less overall focus on lighting scheme. Also look at the source of the lighting and the angle of the shadows on the horse. They don't match up; the shadow would probably be a lot more elongated. Shadows have to follow perspective too. The shadowing on the figure should be much darker and pronounced given the shadowing cast by the horse. It should be at least as dark on the figure and cast according to the volumes of the figure, overiding the local shadowing of the individual folds on the dress.
5. The arm and bow on the figure are not complete at all. They still look like part of a sketch and need rendering up.
6. There are detailing issues where the background has more texture density (not detail, but density) than the focus. This should be the other way around. More density on the figure, less on the floor and columns.
7. Narrative wise, I have no idea why there is a sword on the floor. It makes little sense and the way it is drawn, it is skewing scale a little bit, so I would just remove it.
It's a lot to work on, but I feel that you've bitten off more than you can chew...(which isn't a bad thing...but it just means you need to step up to execute it well) And unfortunately, until you do nail those issues, I wouldn't put this into your folio.
Harsh but I hope that helps
2. I don't think the horse is proportionally in perspective either (that head looks massive)
3. The drapery is very loose at the moment and could do with a lot more love. Do more studies to get this right. Someone else said it as well "where are her legs"?
4. The lighting is inconsistent and incomplete. You seem to render shadow and form well, but you render it locally with less regard to overall light sources, so things like the horse's forelegs which should be mostly in shadow aren't, and I think this stems from a less overall focus on lighting scheme. Also look at the source of the lighting and the angle of the shadows on the horse. They don't match up; the shadow would probably be a lot more elongated. Shadows have to follow perspective too. The shadowing on the figure should be much darker and pronounced given the shadowing cast by the horse. It should be at least as dark on the figure and cast according to the volumes of the figure, overiding the local shadowing of the individual folds on the dress.
5. The arm and bow on the figure are not complete at all. They still look like part of a sketch and need rendering up.
6. There are detailing issues where the background has more texture density (not detail, but density) than the focus. This should be the other way around. More density on the figure, less on the floor and columns.
7. Narrative wise, I have no idea why there is a sword on the floor. It makes little sense and the way it is drawn, it is skewing scale a little bit, so I would just remove it.
It's a lot to work on, but I feel that you've bitten off more than you can chew...(which isn't a bad thing...but it just means you need to step up to execute it well) And unfortunately, until you do nail those issues, I wouldn't put this into your folio.
Harsh but I hope that helps