Clumsy Waitress

[JyonnyNovice]

Hi! This is my first post in this section, my drawing isn't at the level of most of the people here so please be kind!

I've been doing a lot of anatomy study and am just having fun playing with what I've learned, decided I want to do a full painting.

Started with these thumbnails to figure out an idea and a pose:



Decided on a slapstick pinup / clumsy waitress style drawing and made this pencil sketch:



I need to fix a few things, from what I can notice,

- the man on the table needs to be moved further back - since he's closer to the picture plane than the dog but is way out of scale.

- the hotel in the background could be pushed into 3 point perspective since the viewing angle is low to the ground?

- Her torso twists but the stitching down the front stays the same width - need to foreshorten it

Does her torso need better shaping on the right side? sometimes I look at it and it looks disconnected and other times it looks ok (considering it's a stylised drawing)

Perhaps I'll tilt the horizon line even more to make it more dramatic...


Anything anyone notices that's off about this drawing? Or any advice for what I could do to give it more punch?

When I've got the composition sorted I will paint it in photoshop and make it look really nice!

Thanks for looking!