11-10-2014, 07:56 PM
I thought I would share a little something I've been going through recently as well as my brief story:
- Was a 3D animator (lighting and texture TD) for 1.5 years circa 1999.
- Had to leave the country I was in unexpectedly due to a visa f@ck up which led to another degree on another continent.
- Did nothing art related of any note for 10 years.
- Bought my first wacom in 2008 and did two paintings that year.
- Basically did jack all till about April 2009 when I turned 32, when I started doing speed paintings almost every day. Painted random finished pieces. Random. No study at all. Weeks between any painting sometimes
- September 2011 I went to a concept design workshop and loved it! I decided to pull the finger out and get serious.
- Began the cycle of painting every day after work. 3-4 hours. 8-12 on weekend days. Some study, but mostly just painting painting painting for a year and a bit straight. 5-6 hours sleep a night on average.
- Dec 2012, took 3 months off work to work on folio building, produce a short comic and study. Ended up in hospital from a random infection 3 weeks in and couldn't paint for 5 weeks. Did too much study to "catch up" (the clock was ticking here) and ditched my own project. it was awful. Failed.
- Painted more for fun from then on did more workshops and networking.
- Oct 2013 ( 2 year anniversary of starting to be serious) Got invited to submit folio to Weta after a review, with tips on what to show them for Feb 2014. Freaked out with stress, painted all day, produced almost nothing, became completely paralysed by the end. I had a few pieces that might have made the grade. My laptop and all my work gets stolen literally 3 days away from my deadline.
- Decided to take a good long break and reevaluate why I melted down. Decided the stress of 'making it' was what totally f#cked me up. I wanted it so bad I choked. So I took 7 months to get rid of my desire to make it and get over my burnout.
- November 2014, back into the fray, albeit very slowly, and with a different focus altogether, based on being true to my own self, having fun, not taking all this too seriously, and hopefully help others to NOT do what I did :)
I don't know if this is the right thing for this thread, but hopefully it is an interesting synopsis of one journey anyway. The main thread throughout my beginning stages which was (despite the lack of sleep and long hours) pretty natural and easy, was that I was having fun. With everything. I loved studies, I loved painting from imagination, I just loved the whole thing. Then once I got a bit better and started seeing great improvement (almost daily in some cases) it got even better. The grind started happening after my 3 month attempt at folio building full time. It was a disaster. Granted I got sick which wasted over a third of the time but I found that this loss of "time" made me so stressed coming back that I was never back to my momentum at the beginning. It made me make a huge mistake.
I truly believe that we all have to excise the idea of time being a factor in our minds, or that we need to give it such close attention in our artistic development.
At first I used to count hours to hit 10,000. At 3,000 I gave up on that notion. I mean really who gives a shit how many hours you've done? No one will ask you. The only person that can even guess at that is you. If you spend 10,000,000 hours and you're still shit, well then what?
No. Just. No.
Repeat after me: "I have all the time in the world". Now say it to yourself every day, and every time you feel that stupid time pressure. If you don't have time....well then make some time. We are all way less efficient that we can be, so don't be lazy get efficient. If your mum is close at hand, ask her how she managed raising kids. Believe me she learned to be more efficient raising your ass than you will ever become doing art.
The only thing that matters is that you must enjoy what you are doing, study or freelance, studio job or personal project. It must all be done in enjoyment to get the real benefit of being a creator.
Everything else, all the desire, the dream of 'making it' the ridiculous pressure we put ourselves under.
This. must. die.
We must kill it.
Banish it.
Because once we do, we will be free to be the artist we are right NOW.
- Was a 3D animator (lighting and texture TD) for 1.5 years circa 1999.
- Had to leave the country I was in unexpectedly due to a visa f@ck up which led to another degree on another continent.
- Did nothing art related of any note for 10 years.
- Bought my first wacom in 2008 and did two paintings that year.
- Basically did jack all till about April 2009 when I turned 32, when I started doing speed paintings almost every day. Painted random finished pieces. Random. No study at all. Weeks between any painting sometimes
- September 2011 I went to a concept design workshop and loved it! I decided to pull the finger out and get serious.
- Began the cycle of painting every day after work. 3-4 hours. 8-12 on weekend days. Some study, but mostly just painting painting painting for a year and a bit straight. 5-6 hours sleep a night on average.
- Dec 2012, took 3 months off work to work on folio building, produce a short comic and study. Ended up in hospital from a random infection 3 weeks in and couldn't paint for 5 weeks. Did too much study to "catch up" (the clock was ticking here) and ditched my own project. it was awful. Failed.
- Painted more for fun from then on did more workshops and networking.
- Oct 2013 ( 2 year anniversary of starting to be serious) Got invited to submit folio to Weta after a review, with tips on what to show them for Feb 2014. Freaked out with stress, painted all day, produced almost nothing, became completely paralysed by the end. I had a few pieces that might have made the grade. My laptop and all my work gets stolen literally 3 days away from my deadline.
- Decided to take a good long break and reevaluate why I melted down. Decided the stress of 'making it' was what totally f#cked me up. I wanted it so bad I choked. So I took 7 months to get rid of my desire to make it and get over my burnout.
- November 2014, back into the fray, albeit very slowly, and with a different focus altogether, based on being true to my own self, having fun, not taking all this too seriously, and hopefully help others to NOT do what I did :)
I don't know if this is the right thing for this thread, but hopefully it is an interesting synopsis of one journey anyway. The main thread throughout my beginning stages which was (despite the lack of sleep and long hours) pretty natural and easy, was that I was having fun. With everything. I loved studies, I loved painting from imagination, I just loved the whole thing. Then once I got a bit better and started seeing great improvement (almost daily in some cases) it got even better. The grind started happening after my 3 month attempt at folio building full time. It was a disaster. Granted I got sick which wasted over a third of the time but I found that this loss of "time" made me so stressed coming back that I was never back to my momentum at the beginning. It made me make a huge mistake.
I truly believe that we all have to excise the idea of time being a factor in our minds, or that we need to give it such close attention in our artistic development.
At first I used to count hours to hit 10,000. At 3,000 I gave up on that notion. I mean really who gives a shit how many hours you've done? No one will ask you. The only person that can even guess at that is you. If you spend 10,000,000 hours and you're still shit, well then what?
No. Just. No.
Repeat after me: "I have all the time in the world". Now say it to yourself every day, and every time you feel that stupid time pressure. If you don't have time....well then make some time. We are all way less efficient that we can be, so don't be lazy get efficient. If your mum is close at hand, ask her how she managed raising kids. Believe me she learned to be more efficient raising your ass than you will ever become doing art.
The only thing that matters is that you must enjoy what you are doing, study or freelance, studio job or personal project. It must all be done in enjoyment to get the real benefit of being a creator.
Everything else, all the desire, the dream of 'making it' the ridiculous pressure we put ourselves under.
This. must. die.
We must kill it.
Banish it.
Because once we do, we will be free to be the artist we are right NOW.