04-27-2015, 06:50 PM
Hi Wolken,
the piece looks good, you really pushed those materials.
I feel like it has some weaknesses fundamentally though. Some of it is surely personal taste or due to the requirements of the piece but here are my thoughts.
1. those feels unbalanced to me, she is leaning to one side. Flip the canvas occasionally to spot that early on.
2. the bird looks out of the picture frame that is closer to it. that way my eye goes out too. make it look to the other end to lead the eye into the frame.
3. the mountains in the BG are too dark to look dark and pointy to be BG elements. my eye always goes there and then again out of the frame because of the pointy tip of the mountain. look up atmospheric perspective, it is the art of making stuff recede in the picture frame.
4. the ground floor looks artificial due to the repeating shapes. also it draws a lot of attention due to the large value range you used. group those values together to make it less attention-grabby.
5. the woman looks straight into the camera which is kinda offputting to me. This is the personal taste part I guess. I would much prefer seeing her doing something than having her looking at me.
I made a quick overpaint (with some Wolken in the bg) to get more action in the painting. The light in your painting is also an issue but I focused more on the comp. But let me say that I helps to read the forms better, when you seperate the light and dark side more. Meaning to push the values farther from each other and have them stay in there areas. If you use values from one side in the other side, things start to get messy.
Hope it helps
the piece looks good, you really pushed those materials.
I feel like it has some weaknesses fundamentally though. Some of it is surely personal taste or due to the requirements of the piece but here are my thoughts.
1. those feels unbalanced to me, she is leaning to one side. Flip the canvas occasionally to spot that early on.
2. the bird looks out of the picture frame that is closer to it. that way my eye goes out too. make it look to the other end to lead the eye into the frame.
3. the mountains in the BG are too dark to look dark and pointy to be BG elements. my eye always goes there and then again out of the frame because of the pointy tip of the mountain. look up atmospheric perspective, it is the art of making stuff recede in the picture frame.
4. the ground floor looks artificial due to the repeating shapes. also it draws a lot of attention due to the large value range you used. group those values together to make it less attention-grabby.
5. the woman looks straight into the camera which is kinda offputting to me. This is the personal taste part I guess. I would much prefer seeing her doing something than having her looking at me.
I made a quick overpaint (with some Wolken in the bg) to get more action in the painting. The light in your painting is also an issue but I focused more on the comp. But let me say that I helps to read the forms better, when you seperate the light and dark side more. Meaning to push the values farther from each other and have them stay in there areas. If you use values from one side in the other side, things start to get messy.
Hope it helps