01-21-2014, 11:47 AM
Meat, that is quite a lot of work. And it doesn't help if they are blunt about it. It's just rude.
I mean, let's not get into aspect of religion, not because I'm not religious (I am not religious, at least not in an organized way, you could say that I follow some kind of "doolio-ism":), but I digress) or whatever, I can very well both discuss, understand and talk with that in mind. But because I really think it doesn't change anything in this particular case.
You say you lack backbone. It's a simple habit, nothing more. And you develop it. And I want to talk about it a bit more, because I think it's quite important, in this case and generally for an artist.
I was like that, I couldn't say no. Not just when it came to art stuff, but you know, all kinds of stuff. "Hey man, lets go out", -ok, although I didn't really want to go. Stuff like that. But, you have to realize that you simply can't go on like that. Because gradually you will literally stop doing anything for yourself and you might even feel shame when doing something for yourself, because you are not used to it and subconsciously you think that you are stealing the time you should spend doing stuff for others. It is far from douchy or selfish to stand up for yourself and to plan for yourself and to pursue your own goals.
And when it comes to art, that syndrome of not valuing your work is pretty much a worldwide artist phenomenon:) Both among beginning artists and among non-artists. I mean, "hey man, draw me a portrait of my girlfriend, it's her birthday" and all that stuff. That is nonsensical. You don't create art from thin air, no matter how much one could think you do. In that aspect, art is simply a craft, a service, a product etc. and you are the craftsman. And you spend time, money, materials, electricity, you breath fumes (when working traditionally), you apply your skill, you are offering exclusivity (because you can do something which that other dude can't).
And that kind of stigma is present in a lot of jobs that people don't perceive as concrete. For example, my dad's a lawyer (he's retired now). And once, we called a plumber and he came and he is fixing stuff and he got into talk with dad and he said he was a lawyer and in that instant, the plumber was like "oh, really? Well, I have this house but there are some issues, would you mind taking a look into it...". I mean, he wasn't even like "ok, what if I fix this pipes for no charge and you give me a legal advice about some house?". Just because people tend to perceive certain professions like that. And I bet that no one in the world ever met a plumber and was like "oh, you're a plumber? Well, since you know plumbing and stuff, how bout you fix my tap, that would be really nice of you". Because you don't say that to a plumber, ever:) But you do to a painter.
I mean, try to ask that person you paint for to provide his services in equal amount to you for no charge and see how it goes... I am not trying to bash the guy, maybe he's a wonderful person, but you know what I'm trying to say.
And you have to somehow incorporate the fact that your services are indeed services and that you LOSE your time and your money etc. if you do them for free. It's not like you're at zero if you do work for free, you go negative. Because in that time you could actually do work for money, or invest in your future by practicing to become better at art, or simply spend that time, I don't know, playing basketball because you like playing basketball. That's something I would strongly advise you incorporate into your perception, for the one simple reason - it's true:)
I mean, of course, nothing is black and white, I don't want you guys to think that I'm like "oh, my friend wants to move and I have a car, ok, I'll charge him $50. What, it's a bargain, companies charge like quadruple that!". I am just making a point.
And yes, I know the feeling when it's unpleasant to turn down a request and all that stuff, but you need to start practicing that, because you want to do this for a living.
And about being confused, if you break down the situation rationally, you'll see that there's no much confusion:) It's your emotional clinging to a habit of saying yes to requests, no matter how unreasonable or arrogant or silly or whatever they may be.
I understand it's a bit of touchy subject, you are loyal to your respective church and that is a representative etc. but I really think it does nothing to do with that, as it's not really a religious subject. I mean, if that religious figure dents someone's car, he'll pay the damage, because denting cars has nothing to do with him being a religious figure.
And of course, it's a good thing to do charity work or community work, but YOU should be the one who starts the whole interaction, if you feel like it. Nobody stops you from walking into a temple and saying "hey, I am a painter, I see you don't have many icons, I could help you decorate the altar for free" and they would go like "OMG THANKS", because you're being a great guy.
Again, I assume it could be a touchy subject for you, but I am being honest as I truly believe that this could help you in the long run.
I mean, let's not get into aspect of religion, not because I'm not religious (I am not religious, at least not in an organized way, you could say that I follow some kind of "doolio-ism":), but I digress) or whatever, I can very well both discuss, understand and talk with that in mind. But because I really think it doesn't change anything in this particular case.
You say you lack backbone. It's a simple habit, nothing more. And you develop it. And I want to talk about it a bit more, because I think it's quite important, in this case and generally for an artist.
I was like that, I couldn't say no. Not just when it came to art stuff, but you know, all kinds of stuff. "Hey man, lets go out", -ok, although I didn't really want to go. Stuff like that. But, you have to realize that you simply can't go on like that. Because gradually you will literally stop doing anything for yourself and you might even feel shame when doing something for yourself, because you are not used to it and subconsciously you think that you are stealing the time you should spend doing stuff for others. It is far from douchy or selfish to stand up for yourself and to plan for yourself and to pursue your own goals.
And when it comes to art, that syndrome of not valuing your work is pretty much a worldwide artist phenomenon:) Both among beginning artists and among non-artists. I mean, "hey man, draw me a portrait of my girlfriend, it's her birthday" and all that stuff. That is nonsensical. You don't create art from thin air, no matter how much one could think you do. In that aspect, art is simply a craft, a service, a product etc. and you are the craftsman. And you spend time, money, materials, electricity, you breath fumes (when working traditionally), you apply your skill, you are offering exclusivity (because you can do something which that other dude can't).
And that kind of stigma is present in a lot of jobs that people don't perceive as concrete. For example, my dad's a lawyer (he's retired now). And once, we called a plumber and he came and he is fixing stuff and he got into talk with dad and he said he was a lawyer and in that instant, the plumber was like "oh, really? Well, I have this house but there are some issues, would you mind taking a look into it...". I mean, he wasn't even like "ok, what if I fix this pipes for no charge and you give me a legal advice about some house?". Just because people tend to perceive certain professions like that. And I bet that no one in the world ever met a plumber and was like "oh, you're a plumber? Well, since you know plumbing and stuff, how bout you fix my tap, that would be really nice of you". Because you don't say that to a plumber, ever:) But you do to a painter.
I mean, try to ask that person you paint for to provide his services in equal amount to you for no charge and see how it goes... I am not trying to bash the guy, maybe he's a wonderful person, but you know what I'm trying to say.
And you have to somehow incorporate the fact that your services are indeed services and that you LOSE your time and your money etc. if you do them for free. It's not like you're at zero if you do work for free, you go negative. Because in that time you could actually do work for money, or invest in your future by practicing to become better at art, or simply spend that time, I don't know, playing basketball because you like playing basketball. That's something I would strongly advise you incorporate into your perception, for the one simple reason - it's true:)
I mean, of course, nothing is black and white, I don't want you guys to think that I'm like "oh, my friend wants to move and I have a car, ok, I'll charge him $50. What, it's a bargain, companies charge like quadruple that!". I am just making a point.
And yes, I know the feeling when it's unpleasant to turn down a request and all that stuff, but you need to start practicing that, because you want to do this for a living.
And about being confused, if you break down the situation rationally, you'll see that there's no much confusion:) It's your emotional clinging to a habit of saying yes to requests, no matter how unreasonable or arrogant or silly or whatever they may be.
I understand it's a bit of touchy subject, you are loyal to your respective church and that is a representative etc. but I really think it does nothing to do with that, as it's not really a religious subject. I mean, if that religious figure dents someone's car, he'll pay the damage, because denting cars has nothing to do with him being a religious figure.
And of course, it's a good thing to do charity work or community work, but YOU should be the one who starts the whole interaction, if you feel like it. Nobody stops you from walking into a temple and saying "hey, I am a painter, I see you don't have many icons, I could help you decorate the altar for free" and they would go like "OMG THANKS", because you're being a great guy.
Again, I assume it could be a touchy subject for you, but I am being honest as I truly believe that this could help you in the long run.