08-24-2015, 10:09 AM
1. I am very high up on the introvert scale. However this does not mean I am unable to socialise or be extroverted in certain situations or be completely at ease around people.
The typical notion of introversion is to say introvert = shy/awkward/doesn't like people/is negative/has depressive tendencies/doesn't like to party. etc There may be tendencies towards these for sure, but it is far from a general rule.
Introversion/Extroversion is a scale, a continuum that you are on, rather than a label. You can also move up and down the scale over time. Nothing is that fixed.
2. I find that personally it is very tiresome dealing with the incredible amount of superficial bullshit that you typically have to deal with when it comes to meeting new people face to face and "connecting." regardless of if you have common interests , or are at a loud party or not.
I would much rather go straight in and find something interesting and honest to connect on, rather than the usual bullshit small talk that can just go on and on for hours. Oh you play video games too?...awesome...do I want to discuss every detail of those games for the next 3 hours of my brief existence in this world; Thanks but no.
Small talk is one way of leading into other things, but the majority of times I find all it leads to is more small talk, even if you have common interests. Hey if that's what you like, then by all means indulge in it, I see so many people doing it. I personally would rather do more fulfilling things to with my time.
In terms of "strategies for striking up conversations", keeping in mind the above, I find that people are almost always more interested in talking about themselves and their opinions than anything else. We are a self obsessed bunch of apes. If you want to keep somebody's attention, ask them questions about and show interest in them. That will probably stroke their ego enough for them to remain engaged in the conversation and hopefully lead to a more genuine type of interaction. Maybe they will even start to reciprocate and exhibit genuine interest towards you...but don't count on it.
On the rare occasion you will meet people you instantly and honestly connect with, and those are the ones I personally give more attention to over the superficial interactions. There is something there that is transcending all the social norm bullcrap we all enact. One real honest connection is worth a hundred thousand inane superficial ones.
Without forcing it too much, getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things is a good way to put yourself in situations where the above might happen more. If you stay hidden away all the time, of course it will happen much less frequently. I tend to trust my instincts when it comes to deciding when to 'cut and run', but I will rarely spend more than an hour in a place where I can't find any genuine interaction on a social level.
Oh also, the internet is a poor substitute for face to face interaction. It really is. Most of our interactions are superficial and brief and anonymous to a certain degree, so as a result all manners of unseemly behavoiurs get amped up without ever getting called out. The reach and potential of the internet is a beautiful thing to be able to connect with people you never could in person at first, but it is a very poor substitute for real life.
The typical notion of introversion is to say introvert = shy/awkward/doesn't like people/is negative/has depressive tendencies/doesn't like to party. etc There may be tendencies towards these for sure, but it is far from a general rule.
Introversion/Extroversion is a scale, a continuum that you are on, rather than a label. You can also move up and down the scale over time. Nothing is that fixed.
2. I find that personally it is very tiresome dealing with the incredible amount of superficial bullshit that you typically have to deal with when it comes to meeting new people face to face and "connecting." regardless of if you have common interests , or are at a loud party or not.
I would much rather go straight in and find something interesting and honest to connect on, rather than the usual bullshit small talk that can just go on and on for hours. Oh you play video games too?...awesome...do I want to discuss every detail of those games for the next 3 hours of my brief existence in this world; Thanks but no.
Small talk is one way of leading into other things, but the majority of times I find all it leads to is more small talk, even if you have common interests. Hey if that's what you like, then by all means indulge in it, I see so many people doing it. I personally would rather do more fulfilling things to with my time.
In terms of "strategies for striking up conversations", keeping in mind the above, I find that people are almost always more interested in talking about themselves and their opinions than anything else. We are a self obsessed bunch of apes. If you want to keep somebody's attention, ask them questions about and show interest in them. That will probably stroke their ego enough for them to remain engaged in the conversation and hopefully lead to a more genuine type of interaction. Maybe they will even start to reciprocate and exhibit genuine interest towards you...but don't count on it.
On the rare occasion you will meet people you instantly and honestly connect with, and those are the ones I personally give more attention to over the superficial interactions. There is something there that is transcending all the social norm bullcrap we all enact. One real honest connection is worth a hundred thousand inane superficial ones.
Without forcing it too much, getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things is a good way to put yourself in situations where the above might happen more. If you stay hidden away all the time, of course it will happen much less frequently. I tend to trust my instincts when it comes to deciding when to 'cut and run', but I will rarely spend more than an hour in a place where I can't find any genuine interaction on a social level.
Oh also, the internet is a poor substitute for face to face interaction. It really is. Most of our interactions are superficial and brief and anonymous to a certain degree, so as a result all manners of unseemly behavoiurs get amped up without ever getting called out. The reach and potential of the internet is a beautiful thing to be able to connect with people you never could in person at first, but it is a very poor substitute for real life.