05-20-2016, 11:46 PM
The word 'overworking' is subjective. Mom says a lot that I need to go out more and not stay cooped up. Don't get me wrong, she is totally right. But, I'd rather hammer this art thing down.
It's hard to see them seeing me like this. Look it, a full grown adult leeching off and still living with his parents. A part time job in a family business which horribly feels like a dole out. And for what? To make time for this art thing to work out? It is grossly pathetic if you think about it.
It's a huge struggle, (or if I may boldly say, impossible), to make art as a primary source of income here and getaway with living a comfortable life. Not worrying about food, rent, eventual unavoidable hospital bill, and whatsoever. There's this story from an older artist friend I know that scares the bejeezus out of me. He knows this guy who had to inject artificial cartilage in both his kneecaps. Twenty grand (in USD) for both operations. I wouldn't be surprised if 'til this day, even with all the money he had borrowed, he's still paying for his kneecaps.
In the coming months, I'll be assimilated into the business if nothing happens career-wise with what I'm doing. Assimilated, like how a mob member gets assimilated: once you get in, there's no 'out'. Which means, kiss working for *insert-entertainment-company here* goodbye. In fact, I'm already bracing myself for that inevitable event. On one hand, it's good money, great business experience, very comfortable lifestyle, and it's a good road to being 'successful'. On the other, let's just say the main reason why I'm so adamant about the whole thing is, I'm sure I'd be going against my core principles to do the job.
And math. I am horrible at math.
That's the reason why there's a need to for me 'overwork'. I'm putting the word in quotes because it's as if I'm not doing enough. It's been years since I've started with this and I'm already seeing the end of the line. I swear, really need to get outta here to do work and just live. Or at the very least give that thought a fighting chance.
Seeing you reading this til the end, congratulations on stomaching this disgusting, privileged, drama queen bullshit rant!
It's hard to see them seeing me like this. Look it, a full grown adult leeching off and still living with his parents. A part time job in a family business which horribly feels like a dole out. And for what? To make time for this art thing to work out? It is grossly pathetic if you think about it.
It's a huge struggle, (or if I may boldly say, impossible), to make art as a primary source of income here and getaway with living a comfortable life. Not worrying about food, rent, eventual unavoidable hospital bill, and whatsoever. There's this story from an older artist friend I know that scares the bejeezus out of me. He knows this guy who had to inject artificial cartilage in both his kneecaps. Twenty grand (in USD) for both operations. I wouldn't be surprised if 'til this day, even with all the money he had borrowed, he's still paying for his kneecaps.
In the coming months, I'll be assimilated into the business if nothing happens career-wise with what I'm doing. Assimilated, like how a mob member gets assimilated: once you get in, there's no 'out'. Which means, kiss working for *insert-entertainment-company here* goodbye. In fact, I'm already bracing myself for that inevitable event. On one hand, it's good money, great business experience, very comfortable lifestyle, and it's a good road to being 'successful'. On the other, let's just say the main reason why I'm so adamant about the whole thing is, I'm sure I'd be going against my core principles to do the job.
And math. I am horrible at math.
That's the reason why there's a need to for me 'overwork'. I'm putting the word in quotes because it's as if I'm not doing enough. It's been years since I've started with this and I'm already seeing the end of the line. I swear, really need to get outta here to do work and just live. Or at the very least give that thought a fighting chance.
Seeing you reading this til the end, congratulations on stomaching this disgusting, privileged, drama queen bullshit rant!
If you are reading this, I most likely just gave you a crappy crit! What I'm basically trying to say is, don't give up!
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IG: @thatpuddinhead
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IG: @thatpuddinhead