04-27-2013, 05:58 PM
I like the drawing the layout and how you've integrated the letter as the narration, but I'm gonna be real blunt here. I don't like the colours. That purple against the blue really doesn't do it for me. Perhaps use a complement for the surrounds? It's desert right? So maybe a burnt orange or something like that. It would pop against the blue. I'd also consider adding some accents of saturation just to give it a little more form and "punch"
The guy and the pumps need a cast shadow in the first panel and there's a bit of a tangent with his leg and the triangle inset. I'm not sure I like the messy flatting that comes outside of your lineart because it lends it an unfinished quality but not in a stylistic way. I'd also say clean up the lineart...in some cases it crosses over panel borders and it looks kinda sloppy.
Sorry man, I'm being harsh to be kind. I'd recommend you iterate this page until you land the exact final finish and style, before applying to the rest of your work. Just my opinion though.
The guy and the pumps need a cast shadow in the first panel and there's a bit of a tangent with his leg and the triangle inset. I'm not sure I like the messy flatting that comes outside of your lineart because it lends it an unfinished quality but not in a stylistic way. I'd also say clean up the lineart...in some cases it crosses over panel borders and it looks kinda sloppy.
Sorry man, I'm being harsh to be kind. I'd recommend you iterate this page until you land the exact final finish and style, before applying to the rest of your work. Just my opinion though.