12-23-2014, 07:59 PM
Hey man, I feel your pain, addiction is a hell of a thing, I was a heroin addict for a good ten years and transferred that to a gaming addiction when I was cleaning up - I can give you some personal experience if you're interested but right now I'll try and give you some wisdom.
There's two kind of 'models' or schools of thought when tackling addiction. Abstinence based (like AA) where the thing has to be cut completely and never touched again, and there's the Harm Reduction model - where it's accepted that the game/drug/etc will be used but it's about making your life as safe and productive as possible at the same time (often this is a good transition into a life of abstinence).
When it's something pretty heavy, like hours of gaming a day, it can be impractical to just try and stop (usually that's only possible when someone hits 'rock bottom' through some kind of crisis). Hitting that crisis point can have a positive outcome in the end but if you're not there yet, you don't want to just wait for it to come, it's pretty miserable after all and could take another 4 years to get there, you wanna do something to get out of it now. Trying to just cut yourself off can just cause more suffering when you fail to meet that goal, so I think you're being really sensible trying to limit and cut down instead of just stopping outright.
I think Chris P touched on this, but problems we have just love to be thought about, the more you think about them the more attention they get and they slowly move to the centre of your life and you spend so much time and energy on them that they gain more and more power. It's good to envisage your life without your problems, what would you be doing? how would you feel? What are your goals? Where do you want to be in a year, 5 years, 10 years? Spend time thinking about that stuff, fantasise, dream, give those positive thoughts power and they will move to the centre of your life.
On a purely practical side though, what can you do right now to help meeting your current goals of cutting down? I think setting a 'time of day' limit is useful - so you give yourself a rule that before (say 6pm) you aren't allowed to play any games or go on facebook. You can try that for a while and see how it goes, then maybe up the time to 7pm, 8pm etc (or lower it to 5pm, 4pm etc. if it's not working out). If you stick with that you may find that one evening you don't even want to play, but this way you can enjoy your playtime, it's 'allowed' and you've probably done something productive in the day that makes you feel justified in relaxing with a game. Instead of playing in the day, maybe going longer than your 4 hours and feeling guilty, stressed and essentially not really enjoying playing anyway.
I think Peter Hamilton, a sci fi author, uses a method where, between midday and 4pm for example he is ONLY allowed to write - he can sit there doing nothing, daydreaming, looking out the window but he CANNOT look on the internet, read something else, tidy up, play games etc. he can only write, or sit there doing nothing. He says that some days he writes just one page, others he writes 20+. It's another method to try anyway, it could work with art too.
About outdoor sketching - it's really hard the first time you do it, but it gets easier and easier almost right away. It's really great if you can find a friend to go with the first time, but if not just work up to it slowly, maybe go and sketch some trees in a park before you do people sketching or something, or go to a cafe where you can draw people from out the window. It's a really joyous thing to do and you will start to love it very quickly after you've had your first good session.
I wish you best of luck anyway! Lot of replies in this thread so a lot of people are cheering for you!
There's two kind of 'models' or schools of thought when tackling addiction. Abstinence based (like AA) where the thing has to be cut completely and never touched again, and there's the Harm Reduction model - where it's accepted that the game/drug/etc will be used but it's about making your life as safe and productive as possible at the same time (often this is a good transition into a life of abstinence).
When it's something pretty heavy, like hours of gaming a day, it can be impractical to just try and stop (usually that's only possible when someone hits 'rock bottom' through some kind of crisis). Hitting that crisis point can have a positive outcome in the end but if you're not there yet, you don't want to just wait for it to come, it's pretty miserable after all and could take another 4 years to get there, you wanna do something to get out of it now. Trying to just cut yourself off can just cause more suffering when you fail to meet that goal, so I think you're being really sensible trying to limit and cut down instead of just stopping outright.
I think Chris P touched on this, but problems we have just love to be thought about, the more you think about them the more attention they get and they slowly move to the centre of your life and you spend so much time and energy on them that they gain more and more power. It's good to envisage your life without your problems, what would you be doing? how would you feel? What are your goals? Where do you want to be in a year, 5 years, 10 years? Spend time thinking about that stuff, fantasise, dream, give those positive thoughts power and they will move to the centre of your life.
On a purely practical side though, what can you do right now to help meeting your current goals of cutting down? I think setting a 'time of day' limit is useful - so you give yourself a rule that before (say 6pm) you aren't allowed to play any games or go on facebook. You can try that for a while and see how it goes, then maybe up the time to 7pm, 8pm etc (or lower it to 5pm, 4pm etc. if it's not working out). If you stick with that you may find that one evening you don't even want to play, but this way you can enjoy your playtime, it's 'allowed' and you've probably done something productive in the day that makes you feel justified in relaxing with a game. Instead of playing in the day, maybe going longer than your 4 hours and feeling guilty, stressed and essentially not really enjoying playing anyway.
I think Peter Hamilton, a sci fi author, uses a method where, between midday and 4pm for example he is ONLY allowed to write - he can sit there doing nothing, daydreaming, looking out the window but he CANNOT look on the internet, read something else, tidy up, play games etc. he can only write, or sit there doing nothing. He says that some days he writes just one page, others he writes 20+. It's another method to try anyway, it could work with art too.
About outdoor sketching - it's really hard the first time you do it, but it gets easier and easier almost right away. It's really great if you can find a friend to go with the first time, but if not just work up to it slowly, maybe go and sketch some trees in a park before you do people sketching or something, or go to a cafe where you can draw people from out the window. It's a really joyous thing to do and you will start to love it very quickly after you've had your first good session.
I wish you best of luck anyway! Lot of replies in this thread so a lot of people are cheering for you!