Snow raider WIP

[Wardy]

Kinda like tuscan raiders from star wars, but snow conditions.
Think of the wildlings from Game of Thrones, that kinda vibe.
The two swords on her back will be spears wrapped in straps etc. Got lots of tightening up to do.
About 50% with this. Started off with a dynamic pose but I think its got stiffer as ive designed somehow.
Any crit would be great, thanks guys!

Xavier

[Amit Dutta]

The hip angle is kinda crazy given her straight up torso angle. Who stands like that unless they are a cocaine sniffing non breakfast eating fashion model? In fact have you ever seen a woman you know personally stand like that ever? Why is a wildling-type striking a fashion model sultry pose? The pose will determine a huge amount of the character you are trying to show, so going for a generic "I'm sexy and I know it" pose is a bit of an insult to the character and women in general and I think this is a complete mismatch from your stated design goal.

Instead maybe try go outside the box a little and think a bit more of an action oriented, matter-of-fact, practical, efficient pose might be better. What would this character do, what is her demeanour, how would she act, hunt, squat, stand? What does her pose say about her? 70% of human communcation is body lanuage, ignore this at your peril, or use it to your advantage.

Ditch the fashion model thing. If you have no ideas, just go relatively neutral, as in walking forward or just standing without that skewed leg thing going on.

http://th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/20...6iiqao.jpg

or maybe just bad ass warrior girl.
http://images.tvfanatic.com/iu/s--8NiKzf...hrones.jpg

I don't have issues about the rendering direction or anything else right now, but the pose irked me a lot. :)

[Jonesoda]

Here's the paintover Wardy! Sorry it took another day!

http://livestre.am/57TQI

[pnate]

My quick two cents. Pretty much the same adjustments basically Russell made :)

• The pauldron on her right arm and the way her left arm looks like its coming from behind her hip suggests that her chest/torso should face her left, but it looks like it's going straight to the viewer in the original.
  
• Her right arm looks too short, especially compared to her left arm. I know you're accounting for the contraposto pose with her right shoulder being higher, but also try to take into account her arms aren't straight by her side. Her left arm is bent and seems to be coming slightly forward, so I interpreted it that way and think her right arm might actually be lower. It also feels a little more actiony when you have one arm coming forward a little.
  
• Her shoulders are too narrow. I'm guessing you're going by the standard that women have narrower shoulders than their hips. That is true, but she also has a bunch of stuff on her shoulders, like that pauldron, fur and cloth, so it might actually look a bit wider here.
  
• I recommend finding a reference photo of a pose like this and taking very exact notes on what's going forward vs. backward in space, like the position of the shoulders in relation to the hips. That twist in 3d space is a bitch to get right, but you can't really do it well unless you use reference.
  
• I can't tell if those two points on her hood are fangs. If they are fangs, try to imagine how they would be mounted onto her hood and show that in the design, or maybe they could be part of a headband or part of the mask?
  
• Maybe a few other places with scrap metal on her body so the pauldron doesn't seem out of place.
  
• Might also be good as you go along to show the stitching on her body suit, or add a few areas of visual noise, like strips of leather, etc, that imply it was put together by her.
  

Sorry that was mostly about the pose haha Anyway, hope that helps!

[Wardy]

thanks so much guys and sorry for the late reply, was noodling over this for a quite a while making adjustments. Decided I'm going to start afresh, have taken the following from your brilliant critiques:
-Make the pose suit the character. Generic/out of place poses create confusion and reduce believability.
-Keep in mind the angle of the torso in comparison to the angle of the shoulders when twists are involved
-Pay closer attention and stick more to reference: please see the reference i used below for interest
http://xavierward.deviantart.com/art/FEM...-533794851
-Simplicity of pose and shapes creates more impact
-Visual noise or methods to show how the costume was constructed also adds to believability
-Keep rendering style consistent, along with value control; the pauldron shouldnt be phototextured/high in value range when the rest of the 'focal point' torso is not.
-Increased saturation and lighting on the upper body can be important despite the inclination to keep the palette muted

I hope this ticks off most of what you helped me learn, really great critique Amit, pnate and jonesoda thanks so much, have certainly learned at lot from your crit, will certainly be working with all of these in mind on my next piece.
Many thanks all, have great days!

Xaiver