CC 4: Probability (of Finishing) Game

[Amit Dutta]

Just gonna pop up a thread, as a line in the sand. Really don't know if I will have the time to finish, but I've got a script, just need to polish it. I'll post stuff once that's settled and I get started on layouts

[Amit Dutta]

Ok again, not much time, but here is a script. It's a LOT of panels, so I will have to see if I can make it work, or have to cut and rearrange once I get some layouts done. Might have to cut one of the species out, and cut down on dialogue as much as possible





First Basic layout idea

[TwilightExplode]

Ha! This is a fun idea - looking forward to seeing it finished.

[Arapersonica]

This is a fantastic idea! But I feel like the dialogue is a but much! Having so many words will fill the panels so much there won't be room for art...

The story is a little confusing also, I had to read it a few times to figure it out. Seeing the panels mapped out below helped bunches, but I still feel like it could be simplified a bit.

Here is what I understand just from dialogue/description:

The gods are playing a game of probability with various planets, using suns as betting currency. (Really cool idea!!)

They gods are betting... for? against? The earthlings? Cthulu is betting for this super nova to blow them up? Or is it betting on its own planet (the one with the robo drones?) Some of the races seem to get their act together just before they blow up?

Somehow Trump on earth wins the election, much to the dismay of all the gods (Except one). The earthlings destroy themselves, winning as the first in this race to see which people destroys themselves. Robobuddha consoles Cthulu because it spent all its suns on the game and lost.

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* This is all just suggestion!! Please feel free to disregard this if it only seems confusing or unhelpful!! :)

Panel 1:

Panel 1 is great, it's straightforward. Maybe to make it just a little clearer, you could have "I put 5,000 suns on those monkeys."

Panel 2:

Maybe can cut most of this dialogue? Maybe try to summarize it in 1 line, perhaps 20 words at most (very small panel!!) Something like: "10,000 years of enlightenment? Pah, detachment more like! 10,000 suns on these mind munchers!"

Panel 3:

Hm, I'm wondering how you might put in the translation here... You can also use < woooorddsss > to indicate speaking in another language. Perhaps something like: "Stell'bsna uh'e!" <One little mis-alignment! All I need! Gimme a million suns!>

And so on... Maybe just making the language a bit more clear and to the point, and sort of "summarizing" what you have already?

If you haven't already checker her out, Kate Beaton's style of political comics in "Hark a Vagrant!" might help with this too! It just seems like there's a connect between the kind of ideas here, and how she does them (to me anyway): http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=10

I think it's gonna be sweet either way though! I'm positive you'll make it fantastic! :D

[Amit Dutta]

Fantastic feedback!! I tend to write too much in general, so I knew the dialogue was going to have to be cut heavily. You made some great replacements there which I will swipe haha.

You mostly got the narrative right, they are all just betting on different species...not necessarily their own. Most don't bet on humanity, except for one of them (not sure which yet). I chose this because although I think we would make a sure bet, it sets up the angry reactions of the gods losing in the last reveal panel, which I thought could be funny. I leave it ambiguous what happens to the other planets....basically no one cares, once the first species annihilates itself haha. Seems pretty god like to not give a shit hehe.

Thanos for the link, I'll check it out! I definitely want to finish this....might be a week or two before I get the time.

[smrr]

Yesssss, Amit---!! This idea is fucking ace O_O!
You better finish this (even if it is in a week or two) >:o