Toxicpanda's Death Note

[Toxicpanda]

:( sounds like you've had a tough year. These sculpts and concepts look great though. Very professional looking work.

I feel the same as you about social media. I got rid of most of it, but I feel like i still need to be on Instagram. I hate posting, honestly, though I never had much of a following anyway. And people that I know that generate most of their revenue from posting on Insta, their main concern is how many thousand people saw their post compared to the last one, and how many likes it got, did it gain followers etc. etc. That really is kind of a depressing way to operate.

Thank you ! 
Instagram is a place to be for most artists, it can be nice if you surround yourself with people you enjoy following and overall comments are much nicer than on twitter or facebook. But instagram is like you said very fake- I've seen number or artists creating the same type of work over and over again just because it usually gets tons of likes. And you can see in their work that they don't enjoy making it, it looks plastic, soulless.

[Zizka]

It all felt so fake, and at the same time negative.

My message isn’t about your art. It looks great really but I wanted to mention this above.

I feel 10000000000000% the same way. Is that enough zeroes for you? I felt a pulling in my heart when I read your message “You’re not alone!”. I don’t think there’s anything “social” about social media, or at the very least, not from an authentic human relationship point of view. It’s essentially a veneer of sociability which barely conceals a thriving business.

Everyone is always happy and smiling, no one ever has any problems, everything is always great, wonderful, unicorns and rainbows. There’s only so much conceit one can take and I too, got rid of everything. I think the desire for authenticity is in itself healthy. I didn’t want to deal with the business of views, likes, re-tweets etc... I said a categoric NO to all of it. There’s something vile at begging for likes and trying to find ways to leech likes out of people. I’ve felt so serene since I’m off it.

I don’t want to bore you so I’ll stop here. I see your dislike of social media as an awakening of sorts.

[Jana]

Hey Toxicpanda, after seeing your latest post I decided to scroll through your sketchbook and I am really impressed how much you improved over the time. I really like your style and your ideas. The one with the giant eye and diver almost looks like an idea I had but could not really sketch out back then, love it!

Sorry that you had a bad experience on social media. I always feel like if I like or comment on something I do it because I want to show appreciation and not because I have the expectation of reciprocation. If it was like that, I would agree that it does not feel sincere.

[ShinOkami]

I spy a panda~

I'm really glad to see you still updating your sketchbook here, even if it's once a year :')
As you said- social media can become what you make of it- either share to the world for the sake of sharing or for your friends while others become extra "eyes".

It's easy to fall into the pit of trends- trying to be consistent with pieces that eventually suck the soul out of you. I think everyone who's not as 'popular' gets to that stage at some point.

That being said- I love that dramatic lit doggo- the best boi !! <3

Hope to see more work from you in a year or so~ :))

[Zyntic_Max]

Hey panda, 

after reading your last post I felt like Zizka. I feeeeeeeel you to 1000000000% about your social media opinion. 
Just wanted to say your not alone with this. 

Your art is amazing and I want to see more of it!

[Kaiko]

I feel you with your experiences on social media so much. I once enjoyed sharing art with people a lot there, too, but now it's insanely stressful to even open it and even more when you share work on it. Especially because nobody sees your work anymore, when you are a nobody in there. It's tough to just get out of that pit and even more so to interact and connect with on a genuine level - like you said.

However, I think your recent 3d work looks really amazing! I admire your skilllevel and how fast it grew since the last time you've posted something here. You can be really proud of that and all the hard work that went into the journey of getting there. I hope things get better for you soon and you can settle and see the value in your work again soon. And take pride and joy in it, too. I wish you all the best and hope to see you around more often soon - if your time and mood allows it! :)

[Toxicpanda]

Twice this year, that's a record. In the end I've decided to post my old work after all. So here is a little spam here with some extra images

This is Gnaar, my favourite character I worked on. I was in charge of the entire character and textures too. Back then I was texturing everything in old Quixel. Fun fact- I made his eye using my eye with some adjustments. :')













Next one is Khnum. I worked on this character with my colleague - he started the model with basic anatomy and details, I took over and worked on correcting proportions after several in game tests, than final details and texturing. I lost most of my texture files so I mostly have zbrush files.









This is Harpy, loved working on her- also part my colleague part me. I did the anatomy changes, final details and texturing and wing adjustments. I think they changed a lot in the final version for the game. Also some of my ugly concepting stages (final concepts were made by Nikola Radovic, i did these mostly for myself for exploration)













Enough spam for today, I'll post some other characters later :) Have to dig out Wips and other screenshots from somewhere on my disk.

[darktiste]

Just insane work right there.What else?

[RottenPocket]

I am living for that Harpy model.

[Skeffin]

your designs and their execution are really really good. I only recognise the animal crossing dodo out of your studio work, where's the gnarr and teethy neck demon from?

[Toxicpanda]

Thank you all ! These were for Serious Sam 4 game. Here is more spam for today from the same game

[cgmythology]

Wow, loving the images you did for Serious Sam, some really great modelling there! Really cool texture work and details, wish I could offer more in terms of feedback but I'm not well versed in 3D. Keep it up!

[Skeffin]

these 3d models alone are making me want to play the game, even though I have no idea what its about or what genre it is, and my brain power is only high enough for 2D games

[Toxicpanda]

I want to thank everyone for your support for the past 13 years of my art journey. I've already said it before, but now I am finally ready to leave social media for good. This decision have been hanging in the air for the past two years and it constantly followed me resulting in deactivating and activating again. There is something that I never did right and I want to start from scratch, breathe and work on myself for my soul, just draw freely, learn new things, see things without pressure. My work at the studio will continue, my professional career won't be affected by this decision, it relates to my personal work and appearance on the internet.

Crimson Daggers was a place that offered me a lot of knowledge, love and support. I appreciate this forum more than any platform out there. Those who are still active members, and new ones, are rare and special souls and I hope you will keep up with this small community.

Thank you for everything ,
Do what makes you happy and most of all, take care of yourself
K.

[one_two]

Dig those sculpts!