05-24-2016, 06:02 AM
D2:2.5h
D3:2h
D4:0h
Too many hours behind.
I've lost all motivation to produce art. Just feeling like shit and it keeps getting worse by the day, starting to get bitter and resentful thoughts aswell and not just about me anymore, but random ppl on the street. Were the goals I set for myself for nothing? I did get some art done, but in terms of self growth I feel like I'm back in square one. Maybe I've approached this the wrong way, posting here, sharing art to gain validation, using the goals and hangouts as a crutch to get me through the goals. No wonder I havent gained any discipline, as soon as I am on my own, I fail, because I'm weak.
This really bothers me since I dont have anything to fall back on, putting in the hours and sharing it created a sense of fulfillment, without that I feel worthless as a person.
Maybe I picked the wrong proffession to reach mastery on...Whenever I read about or interact with artists that I aspire to be, they seem to be so far away from me in terms of their passion towards art.
As for the punishment, Im looking forvard to it, I will try and get things back on track. A part of me even wants to delete this sketchbook and just stop posting art. Just so I could do art for its own sake, not to gain praise.
I've never felt this frustrated in face of failure before though, I think it was because I was finally getting somewhere, I felt myself improving as a person, gaining discipline, It started helping me in other areas of life aswell. And now its all gone.
D3:2h
D4:0h
Too many hours behind.
I've lost all motivation to produce art. Just feeling like shit and it keeps getting worse by the day, starting to get bitter and resentful thoughts aswell and not just about me anymore, but random ppl on the street. Were the goals I set for myself for nothing? I did get some art done, but in terms of self growth I feel like I'm back in square one. Maybe I've approached this the wrong way, posting here, sharing art to gain validation, using the goals and hangouts as a crutch to get me through the goals. No wonder I havent gained any discipline, as soon as I am on my own, I fail, because I'm weak.
This really bothers me since I dont have anything to fall back on, putting in the hours and sharing it created a sense of fulfillment, without that I feel worthless as a person.
Maybe I picked the wrong proffession to reach mastery on...Whenever I read about or interact with artists that I aspire to be, they seem to be so far away from me in terms of their passion towards art.
As for the punishment, Im looking forvard to it, I will try and get things back on track. A part of me even wants to delete this sketchbook and just stop posting art. Just so I could do art for its own sake, not to gain praise.
I've never felt this frustrated in face of failure before though, I think it was because I was finally getting somewhere, I felt myself improving as a person, gaining discipline, It started helping me in other areas of life aswell. And now its all gone.