07-31-2014, 10:36 PM
I like the colour palette the pinks and blues are really working well together.
However I agree with darktiste about those wires or chains hanging down, they don't seem to have any purpose or function (form follows function), this is breaking the reality of a believable machine, wires are used for electric current to flow through, but these are just hanging down from the machine which is obviously live but they are not connected to anything, where as the ones connected to the machines head serve a purpose. I think you'd be better off getting rid of the hanging wires altogether.
When you create a design you want to preesent it as well as possible, presenting this on a white background isn't helping it, if you were to maybe change the background to a 40-50 percent grey I think it would help the overall presentation of the machine and it's nice glowing lights.
Secondly that little machine is distracting from the main design, possible due to it being around the area of an intersecting rule of thirds, it isn't adding anything so I'd just get rid of it.
I think there are a few perspective issues on the left side of the canvas with the arm and leg of the machine, looking at it again it's maybe just the arm, I thing its because the arm on the side closest to us (right) comes out from the body but the one on the left doesnt seem to, did you try using the draw through method to check it? if you do that for the unseen elements I thin it will help you find any perspective issues.
Also there is no ground shadow so for the moment it's just floating on paper I assume it's a machine that moves through the air but still to ground it with a shadow somwhere on the ground plane that it is above would probably also help presentation wise.
Overall I think it's a pretty cool and interesting take on a mechanical design, (and personal taste prob, but I really like the pink lights you have on it) im not trying to come across as overly critical or anything, I just think the above points would help to really push it that much further, hope that was of some help to you :)
However I agree with darktiste about those wires or chains hanging down, they don't seem to have any purpose or function (form follows function), this is breaking the reality of a believable machine, wires are used for electric current to flow through, but these are just hanging down from the machine which is obviously live but they are not connected to anything, where as the ones connected to the machines head serve a purpose. I think you'd be better off getting rid of the hanging wires altogether.
When you create a design you want to preesent it as well as possible, presenting this on a white background isn't helping it, if you were to maybe change the background to a 40-50 percent grey I think it would help the overall presentation of the machine and it's nice glowing lights.
Secondly that little machine is distracting from the main design, possible due to it being around the area of an intersecting rule of thirds, it isn't adding anything so I'd just get rid of it.
I think there are a few perspective issues on the left side of the canvas with the arm and leg of the machine, looking at it again it's maybe just the arm, I thing its because the arm on the side closest to us (right) comes out from the body but the one on the left doesnt seem to, did you try using the draw through method to check it? if you do that for the unseen elements I thin it will help you find any perspective issues.
Also there is no ground shadow so for the moment it's just floating on paper I assume it's a machine that moves through the air but still to ground it with a shadow somwhere on the ground plane that it is above would probably also help presentation wise.
Overall I think it's a pretty cool and interesting take on a mechanical design, (and personal taste prob, but I really like the pink lights you have on it) im not trying to come across as overly critical or anything, I just think the above points would help to really push it that much further, hope that was of some help to you :)