12-02-2014, 02:00 AM
When something that's obviously temporary doesn't feel temporary, and when you're unable to fight that off, you're in big trouble.
I'm losing the fight and giving in to the pressure to look like I'm doing something "right" with my life (having regularly-paying day jobs), to guilt, to fatigue, to a lot of things adding together. I see this downward spiral that leads to absolutely no gain that I'm travelling on, and have traveled twice before. The fact that I'm here again makes me want to just kill myself.


I'm losing the fight and giving in to the pressure to look like I'm doing something "right" with my life (having regularly-paying day jobs), to guilt, to fatigue, to a lot of things adding together. I see this downward spiral that leads to absolutely no gain that I'm travelling on, and have traveled twice before. The fact that I'm here again makes me want to just kill myself.
