11-03-2013, 10:57 PM
Hi LongJh,
You've made a great start. Some good progress with your sketch; I like how you've made the main boardwalk a winding path. I agree with your crits, but don't feel you've fully addressed the 'highway enough' and 'focal point' items.
You've lost a bit of the spontaneity and character of your original thumbnail, which is normal as ideas get watered down when they're refined and conformed. I think you could reintroduce some of that, as well as address the two aforementioned crit items, by bringing back the simple silhouettes of people using the highway path. Eg. I depict a character lugging a carriage of goods from the larger mass in your first thumb.
A highway is used as the quickest path for transportation from one place to another. I think this narrative element is the big 'sell' of the painting, and this could become the focal point. You could play up the idea that they use this main road for commerce, like it's central to their livelihood, trading from one treetop village to another.
The figures would give the painting a sense of scale too; maybe the main path is wider than the other winding ones in the foreground/background, as it's always the busiest? Perhaps you could suggest some figures in the foreground/background paths, like kids hanging close to the edge, gawking and pointing at the scene? This might help to lead the eye in with their pointing, and give some purpose to your foreground element (other than just having it there to break up the composition with layering). This also differentiates them from the main highway, as they may serve a different purpose like they're local paths used by residents.
It's a pretty short window for the deadline, so I think you should jump into painting. Just be selective about where you further refine and cleanup your linework, focussing on areas where you feel design needs to be articulated. Save your effort for the main highway; You'll be able to get away with less detail in the foreground and background as I see in your value study that you'll able to suggest and hide details with atmospheric fog/ the dark silhouette of the foreground.
I'm a bit wary about how busy your scene is starting to get. At the moment my eyes don't really know where to focus or where to rest. I can't really say for sure till you start blocking in values, but I've taken a look at your other artwork (which is great by the way) and I'm confident you'll be able to resolve this as you start painting. Maybe you could have the trees below the main path recede further into fog, like a mist that lingers at ground level in a dense forest. This will also help play up the idea that it's up in the treetops, with some altitude from the ground.
I realise that adding in silhouettes of figures seems counter-intuitive to simplifying the scene, but it's just re-purposing detail to create a proper focal point, which in turn will help curb the problem of my eyes not knowing where to look and where it can rest.
Anyway, hope this made sense, and hopefully it helps. I look forward to seeing how this progresses.
-NC
You've made a great start. Some good progress with your sketch; I like how you've made the main boardwalk a winding path. I agree with your crits, but don't feel you've fully addressed the 'highway enough' and 'focal point' items.
You've lost a bit of the spontaneity and character of your original thumbnail, which is normal as ideas get watered down when they're refined and conformed. I think you could reintroduce some of that, as well as address the two aforementioned crit items, by bringing back the simple silhouettes of people using the highway path. Eg. I depict a character lugging a carriage of goods from the larger mass in your first thumb.
A highway is used as the quickest path for transportation from one place to another. I think this narrative element is the big 'sell' of the painting, and this could become the focal point. You could play up the idea that they use this main road for commerce, like it's central to their livelihood, trading from one treetop village to another.
The figures would give the painting a sense of scale too; maybe the main path is wider than the other winding ones in the foreground/background, as it's always the busiest? Perhaps you could suggest some figures in the foreground/background paths, like kids hanging close to the edge, gawking and pointing at the scene? This might help to lead the eye in with their pointing, and give some purpose to your foreground element (other than just having it there to break up the composition with layering). This also differentiates them from the main highway, as they may serve a different purpose like they're local paths used by residents.
It's a pretty short window for the deadline, so I think you should jump into painting. Just be selective about where you further refine and cleanup your linework, focussing on areas where you feel design needs to be articulated. Save your effort for the main highway; You'll be able to get away with less detail in the foreground and background as I see in your value study that you'll able to suggest and hide details with atmospheric fog/ the dark silhouette of the foreground.
I'm a bit wary about how busy your scene is starting to get. At the moment my eyes don't really know where to focus or where to rest. I can't really say for sure till you start blocking in values, but I've taken a look at your other artwork (which is great by the way) and I'm confident you'll be able to resolve this as you start painting. Maybe you could have the trees below the main path recede further into fog, like a mist that lingers at ground level in a dense forest. This will also help play up the idea that it's up in the treetops, with some altitude from the ground.
I realise that adding in silhouettes of figures seems counter-intuitive to simplifying the scene, but it's just re-purposing detail to create a proper focal point, which in turn will help curb the problem of my eyes not knowing where to look and where it can rest.
Anyway, hope this made sense, and hopefully it helps. I look forward to seeing how this progresses.
-NC