10-21-2014, 05:16 PM
Hey Kyteki, welcome to CD.
First off, nice work on your rendering, you have some developed skills in this department. However as with the issues in almost any piece, it is the fundamentals that break it more so than the technical stuff.
Here are some of the issues I noticed. Feel free to ask for clarification if you need.
1. The lady's proportions are abnormal enough to make me think they weren't intentional. Her arms seem to be a third too long for her size (the front one especially)
2. The pose, while not too awkward, makes me wonder why she is leaning on that staff like she is.
3. The staff disappears behind her sleeve, but I think you need to show it continuing on into the ground because at the moment it ends quite abruptly.
4. I feel the weakest point in the piece is the raven. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think that maybe it is the relative flatness of it compared to the way the rest of the image has been painted. It doesn't really seem to scream forward swooping movement. Perhaps more value depth to build volume and the use of foreshortening on it's feet would help the impending sense of calamity. Another thing with the bird, given it is in such bright moonlight, I would expect it to cast some shadow on the woman/ground or wall, perhaps even volumetric shadows given it is supposed to be in mist?
5. The background could use a bit more design in terms of the shapes they create in the composition and depicting what they are. I assume they are mountains, but it is a bit ambiguous.
6. There is a too-sharp distinction between the highly rendered areas and more abstract areas in the piece. Basically it transitions from uber rendered in the foreground/midground to loose in the raven/background, but it doesn't do it in a smooth natural way.
I understand that uber-render is a style choice but since you have chosen to render everything to the same level of detail in the foreground you should probably be doing the same with background just so it doesn't look out of place. The other option is to select with purpose what areas to detail and drop less important things like the wall and individual blades of grass out where they aren't needed. Either way, I think it would pay to make a decision what it will be before you get into the rendering.
7. The perspective of the piece seems disjoint. I think it is mostly the difference between the nest, the plane the woman is on, and how the wall and cliff edge meet. The ground plane seems to be viewed from higher up than the plane the woman is on.
Hope that helps!
First off, nice work on your rendering, you have some developed skills in this department. However as with the issues in almost any piece, it is the fundamentals that break it more so than the technical stuff.
Here are some of the issues I noticed. Feel free to ask for clarification if you need.
1. The lady's proportions are abnormal enough to make me think they weren't intentional. Her arms seem to be a third too long for her size (the front one especially)
2. The pose, while not too awkward, makes me wonder why she is leaning on that staff like she is.
3. The staff disappears behind her sleeve, but I think you need to show it continuing on into the ground because at the moment it ends quite abruptly.
4. I feel the weakest point in the piece is the raven. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think that maybe it is the relative flatness of it compared to the way the rest of the image has been painted. It doesn't really seem to scream forward swooping movement. Perhaps more value depth to build volume and the use of foreshortening on it's feet would help the impending sense of calamity. Another thing with the bird, given it is in such bright moonlight, I would expect it to cast some shadow on the woman/ground or wall, perhaps even volumetric shadows given it is supposed to be in mist?
5. The background could use a bit more design in terms of the shapes they create in the composition and depicting what they are. I assume they are mountains, but it is a bit ambiguous.
6. There is a too-sharp distinction between the highly rendered areas and more abstract areas in the piece. Basically it transitions from uber rendered in the foreground/midground to loose in the raven/background, but it doesn't do it in a smooth natural way.
I understand that uber-render is a style choice but since you have chosen to render everything to the same level of detail in the foreground you should probably be doing the same with background just so it doesn't look out of place. The other option is to select with purpose what areas to detail and drop less important things like the wall and individual blades of grass out where they aren't needed. Either way, I think it would pay to make a decision what it will be before you get into the rendering.
7. The perspective of the piece seems disjoint. I think it is mostly the difference between the nest, the plane the woman is on, and how the wall and cliff edge meet. The ground plane seems to be viewed from higher up than the plane the woman is on.
Hope that helps!