Inktober 2015

[JyonnyNovice]

Lodratio Cool comic, neat little idea! I love the drawing. I think where it falls down though is the last panel is too much of a contrast, I had to read it a few times before I got it. Needs some kind of connection to the panels before so we know it's that same vehicle that was driving up and that he's stood in the same place. Possible fixes: Include that circular sign (looks like letter H) so we know he hasn't just walked to a new location; show the front of the ice cream truck in the last panel, so we can see it's the same vehicle; in the second panel you can see the 'B' from the front of the vehicle, you could add the 'U' as well even and have a sign above the guy in the last panel with those letters (Buck's Ice Cream or something). Lastly, you could replace panel 3 with a close up of a guy making ice cream, then panel 4 show a wider shot of the guy getting his cone (kind of like those kishoutenketsu that I did before with panel 3: twist, panel 4: conclusion. Anyway I stop now! Great start, I hope you keep up with comics : ) I need a study partner ^^


I was totally not feeling it today, did a rough version of my comic panel 5 (this one is the 'twist' part that doesn't make sense til the final panel). I'm going to redo it, just experimenting how to do the squirrel's fur. Seems a bit messy with this dry brush technique (I should use drawing gum perhaps to mask off the areas around it to make it cleaner). Also my eye keeps being dragged to the tree on the right, I tried to lower the value with hatching but I keep getting pulled over there when I look at it. Any suggestions how I can fix that? Cheers guys!