06-20-2016, 02:18 PM
(06-20-2016, 01:48 PM)Amit Dutta Wrote: is this about a fighter and her medical aid/coach ?
Perhaps things will become clearer when the art develops, but yeah I am having a little bit of trouble following. I like that it is a small snapshot of what could be a wider story but it feels self contained though, so good job on that, and keep it going!!
*Edit. I didn't read your backstory first on purpose, to see if the story on the page itself was self contained without any explanation. I see now what the story is...and I got it sort of right but also wrong, which to me indicates a bit of work to be done on making things clearer on page I guess.
Thanks Amit! It's really useful to know how it's reading. I've just now made (very) minor edits to the text and I'm hoping that when the panels are properly drawn that it will become a bit clearer (ie, you thought that the doctor and the fighter were different people? So I'm hoping that having the face and costume properly drawn out on each panel will show that those bits of text refer to the same person.)
It's so hard as a writer/artist to know what's confusing or what the viewer/reader might be picking up on or not picking up on! I'm going to draw it out some more - make sure that the faces are really consistent so that it's absolutely clear which character is which in every panel - and see what people think. If it's still confusing at that point I'll have to think about.... I don't know... adding more panels, for clarity?
We'll see. Thanks so much for the feedback!
- Sketchbook -