seeking crit !
#1
seeking crit on this piece i am working on. Any input is greatly appreciated ! thanks


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#2
Great start! This looks really cool, I love the dark edges.

The very first thing I noticed is that the woman doesn't seem to have a neck and her face is very small. I recommend getting a few reference pictures to see what parts of her face you would/wouldn't see in that sort of pose.

Also the highlight on the back of her skirt doesn't seem to make sense, the light source is coming from the right, yet it is lit from the left. If you're going for ambient/reflected light it should be much less bright.
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#3

thanks a lot for the crit ! Here is an updated version !
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#4
Is she straighter in the second image as in the first? Because she doesn't seem to have any body language or emotion. What's her reaction to the fairy thing? Is she afraid? Does she interact with it? Right now, you should concentrate on telling the story and getting your values in place, not on rendering.

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#5
Now that you've added the fairy the light source has changed, it's much stronger than the first version which means the shadows should be much darker. Also I agree with Chantal, the lady has lost the body language she had in the first version, and just be careful with her line of sight, she seems to be staring off into the middle-distance and not really focusing on the fairy.
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#6
Thanks ! I see what you guys mean with the pose... i made her lean back a little for her to look a little scared / suprised . What do you think ?

thx !!

Oh and nice to see someone from montreal chantal :)


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#7
trying something with the pose.. maybe its better ?


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#8
I like her holding the staff better. Is she so surprised that she dropped it, or is that part of the story that she has to be unarmed?
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#9
hmmm i dont really know :/
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#10
here is how it looks now


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#11
I did a paintover for you, I brightened the image a bit, changed her face to look at the fairy and made her grip tighter on the staff, if she's scared/surprised by the fairy she would be tensing up more.

[Image: saberyeah_paintover_by_misslillyart-d6c0goj.jpg]
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#12
I think the image would be more dynamic if the fairy was not almost eye level with her. Right now, the trees are fairly symmetrical, the rider is almost in the middle of the composition and the only movement is the staff cutting the image in two. I think one side of the trees needs to be more important, and the sight-line between her and the fairy needs to be a diagonal. Maybe make the staff a strong diagonal as well.

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#13
I suggest twisting her torso to her left a bit. If she is indeed riding the creature into the foreground then a nice slight twist would add dynamism to the pose/arching of the back. Also, as in nature any animal will react faster than a human/humanoid to some sort of outside "threat"...the fact that the tiger creature is just ho humming forward makes it very stiff and non-living. I would add a left paw/claw thing and raise it while the creature looks on at the light source (see some of Frazettas work with tigers, lions and bears oh my ) ;)

Keep your dream alive, feed it daily!

SB thread http://crimsondaggers.com/forum/thread-3551.html
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#14
Hey gumby,

I like the concept. The clashing of a more barbarian style girl with a fairy is really interesting.

For me the biggest issue is in the composition; As Chantal mentioned, maybe you can lower one of the characters to a lower third, instead of having them on the same horizontal line. Perhaps the fairy could be around where the cats outer tooth is, and the girl could be diagonally opposite the fairy. Also, if you're going to have a second light source coming from behind, I think it would look better if it wasn't so identical to the the light coming from the front. It could either be lower value or slightly thinner.

As for the expression of the girl, opening her mouth slightly with her teeth still clenched might give you a subtle expression of fear/bewilderment. Maybe even a slight brow furrowing.

And like tetsuo mentioned looking at some of Frank Frazetta's tigers and lions might give you a more dynamic pose for it

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