Fedodika the Koala
TRiggered: Thx man, yea sending out lots of emails gives me a headache, I can only do so many a day, maybe it's because I'm new to it or something. Certainly glad there isn't any pressure right now for me to get work, I'd imagine that'd be insanely stressful 

So, trying to just get it to where I can move my hand and cool stuff just happens. Just need to freestyle more and let things happen. That's what will make my art unique in the end, not the brushwork. This sketch is just random stuff, I wanted to choose a better angle, but again, just rollin with it. It was relaxing, so I'll probably end up doing a few more of these and def more often. 

The other is a kinda lazy Rubens study. Not sure what I learned from it, but I probably could have learned more just writing on top of it instead of trying to analyze and pull little brushmarks together. woulda been faster and more efficient, oh well, tomorrow's a new chance!

ALSO I TOTALLY CALLED IT ON SINIX NEW VID BIG MEDIUM SMALL!! It was weird he posted that shortly after I discovered it; I guess it's a real thing, and seeing that really made me smile :)

http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...2,7&p=full


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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Okay, did some studies of like expressions today and that taught me a lot of interesting things about the face. It's very squishy and i'd highly reccomend anyone to study like crazy expressions, and you can learn a lot about the limits of the mouth or the cheeks or all the skin that wrinkles up around the nose or forehead, or how the eyes change shapes in certain looks.

I tried scribbling out some figures, but man the more I study the harder it is to have the willpower to force out some gestures or characters, just can't do it like i used to. Need to study more of that area so it's as easy as drawing faces, we'll see ehehe

http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...4,1&p=full


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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Nice paintinggg *.* but pay attention to form and proportion in your drawings. They are wonky sometimes. I dont know how to say it otherwise. Maybe try to draw a bit slower cause they seem a bit rushed and sketchy. I think it would help your paintings in the end too :D

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Miss ASSKICK: troo dat, maybe in the future my lines will clean up, they are when i have a clear idea, sometimes... The scribbles kinda help though, for these creature characters, it gives the painting some "teeth" or values to blend to create textures. maybe in the future that will all sort itself out, who knows!

http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...6,3&p=full

gonna wrap this up tomorrow, lots of fun, just had an idea and went with it. I think from here on out my drawings will continually get more absurd and crazy, cuz well... I feel a lot more confident or something.


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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Your work is at it's best when you're going cray cray, keep up the cray cray!.
[Image: raw]

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TRIGGERED: WILL DO MY MAN!!!

Tried to do a rubens study with a round brush only, trying to stop being a savage uncontrollable marsupial :.D

http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...3,3&p=full


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...1,6&p=full

Trying to get better, that'll put the emails in the inbox ;)


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...0,0&p=full

Ahh need to practice heads a lot more; They feel so unnatractive and like there's some anatomy proportions problems I can't see yet. Gonna dig deep in that tomorrow, tired AF from caricatures today


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http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...0,0&p=full

Aight so, i didn't have a very productive day, but i did a lot of thinking about what I want to do and why. Since like a week or two ago, I've sent out about 100 emails soliciting for freelance and not heard a peep out of anyone. I truly don't believe I'm entitled to anything, I just don't enjoy the whole having to hit people up for work thing. It feels gross to me. I know it takes time for people to get emails and all that, it's just the whole process of soliciting is not something I feel good doing. That being said, I also highly doubt any of them will get back to me, and I personally don't blame em lol. I 100% understand.

When i do street caricature, sure I'll solicit a bit, but people eventually line up and it's easy, then i just have person after person and it really comes down to how fast i can work. I really love that feeling that people just know what I'm doing, and they just see the good and want a picture. And i make pretty good money doing that, but online? nothin, crickets. I make oogles more cash doing scribbly marker sketches than paintings I spend days or weeks on. Sure logistics are everything in that regard, and I completely understand why, but it just suckz lol.

On that note, I'm more than willing to take years and years of not getting work in order for people to want to contact and hire me because they find my work good and inspiring. I like things being tough, I like to sweat, hurt and bleed for things... Makes me feel alive. But I want to hurt and bleed in a smart way; as a hamster wheel only goes one way.

I know so many guys I started out with who've just flown past me, who just get jobs you know, they don't have to email anyone and work comes to them. Usually, they have a consistent and confident style. I don't. Mainly because I try to wear too many hats, none of them are truly mine. 

There are a lot of quotes that rumble around in my head from successful artists. 

"If you're not getting job offers, you're probably not as good as you think you are." That was from Will Terry, who teaches people how to become successful artists, he's on youtube, great stuff. 

"Art directors hire people because their work is inspiring, not just because it's technically good or correct."

I don't remember who said that exactly, but it's been paraphrased by several high profile artists I've heard. I look at my work and I feel detatched from it, like it's not me. I've been really afraid of what I want to do because I don't think it'll look good and I feel vulnerable thinking about it. What I really wanna do, is something I'm afraid to do because I don't know of a clear example of it. And nothings stopping me from doing it but me. 

I think I've mentioned this before, but I really wanna draw like elegant interesting compositions of beautiful ladies with pale skin, lots of eyeliner, and a bit of a sinful undertone. Funny, sexy, dark. Something like that. Problem is I can't find an artist who does that thing; I can think of pieces that come close, but never a full gallery. I don't wanna draw dudes, monsters, you know, weapons, robots, whatever. At least not at this point. Just girls with like elegant pieces of stone and relics of antiques and gothic fashion, and have it look really illustrated and expressive, you know, things floating in air or underwater or something. I really don't go for the whole plain background plus character thing.

I was thinking of just starting over on my portfolio and making those pieces I truly want to make. I want it inspired by music I love, heavy metal in particular. Because no one really does that (sure some do, but none come to mind atm.) It's such a huge part of me I never mention is my immersion in metal music that's gone on for the past 10 or so years. It's so deep and planted in me that it feels very normal, I almost forget that most people hate it haha. 

Maybe that'll be the magic spark I need to make my work connect with people. Just try to please myself and stop worrying if it's cool enough for X or Y. I feel so worried typing that, but I can't explain why, it feels wrong, like it's self indulgent. But man, really pursuing what you love in this field really pays off for people. Like that Caisne guy, Ihor Pasternik. Nooobody paints like that and it SOO worked for him. Or anybody who's got a great style that just reeks of them like, Sergey Ishmaev, Bobby Chiu, just everybody who's noteworthy, they do their own thing. You can say, hey that's his thing, instead of a WOW thing or a Paizo thing etc. 

An advice to a younger me, is disregard all the bad advice I'd had for a younger self, and just don't be afraid of painting what you truly want to see. I truly believe if one's consistent with anything and put themself out there, people will notice, at varying degrees of good or bad. I mean, look at ghost59, I did a thread on him a while back http://crimsondaggers.com/forum/thread-6377.html

Consistently didn't improve for many years, and there I am talking about him. And the last quote I'll leave ya with is this one.

"If you get good enough at anything, people will hire you to do it. It could be... folding clothes, if you could do that fast enough, people will pay to do something with it like advertising, it's all about the time you put in." Sycra

I do nuzzle my chin at all the old soul searching posts in this sketchbook, I guess they all add up to something. It's a real shame Concept art got that data all taken down, there were a lot of good things to read in there. I shouldn't talk shit about them though, they might throw a laptop at me.


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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Sounds like you might be trying too hard to find something instead of open mindedly exploring and having fun.... You're so set on this idea of goth babes in lingerie that maybe you aren't being open to trying new things which might lead you elsewhere in a more natural unforced way. Overthinking and overanalyzing/second guessing aren't going to have positive effects on your work.

Serge birault does semi stylized pinup stuff similarish to what you seem to want to do. I'm sure he gets lots of work and his technical ability is great....the problem is.....they are boring af (to me) and say nothing. Technical prowess will get you jobs....but content and meaning ultimately trump that I guess.

About sending emails....get over it you big baby. they are just emails. .☺
do you have a folio link?

 YouTube free learnin! | DeviantArt | Old Folio | Insta
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Seems to me there are inconsistencies or deviations with your thought process: 1) You like things being tough. Having to sweat and bleed for it. But you'd grossed out at the thought as harmless as marketing yourself. 2) The plan to make you to connect with people is to please yourself (and stop worrying if it's cool enough for X or Y).

Not to throw a stinker, but pursuing what you love doesn't always equate to 'paying off'. Or at least in a monetary sense of the word. I saw a hand pan player just weeks ago getting reprimanded and banned by the cops telling him to not make a racket. And frankly us artists, like you and me, trying to fit in or stand out but not getting a single cent out of it. What you're seeing is a fabricated sense of reality. Where in fact, tons of people (including all of those successful artists you've mentioned) have to do so much more than just doing what they love. Who in their right minds would publicize their catastrophic failures out there more than their success stories.

It seems you like quotes, so I'll throw you one that might sound familiar: "It's been fun roughin and tumblin with ya john, I can't make these walls of text everyday, I don't feel like anything is getting done here..."

You know what to do. If you don't, you know we're all here to help.

If you are reading this, I most likely just gave you a crappy crit! What I'm basically trying to say is, don't give up!  
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IG: @thatpuddinhead
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Sounds like you might be trying too hard to find something instead of open mindedly exploring and having fun.... You're so set on this idea of goth babes in lingerie that maybe you aren't being open to trying new things which might lead you elsewhere in a more natural unforced way. Overthinking and overanalyzing/second guessing aren't going to have positive effects on your work."

I think I've spent a lot of time exploring and I always end up preferring to paint gothic women in the back of my head. Maybe you're right, but I don't know at the moment how to phrase a lot of these thoughts coherently.

"Serge birault does semi stylized pinup stuff similarish to what you seem to want to do. I'm sure he gets lots of work and his technical ability is great....the problem is.....they are boring af (to me) and say nothing. Technical prowess will get you jobs....but content and meaning ultimately trump that I guess."

Well, he does in a sense, but his work is far less dynamic than how i imagine the work I want to do. Most his illustrations are just someone standing there will a cheeky expression; I see a lot limitations in his style. I suppose I need more technical prowess, and more meaning, just everything good lol. The stuff in my head is very angelic, expressive and some other things I can't explain at the moment

And I don't really want my work to look stylized or like straight up pinups, it's more illustrative and like a mix of the chinese painters I enjoy, and design heavy like muccha, you know... It may come off as more meaningful, but if it doesn't who cares, at least I enjoy it!

"About sending emails....get over it you big baby. they are just emails. ?"

NEVER! Just got this designer pacifier from amazon and it's not going to waste!


John

"Seems to me there are inconsistencies or deviations with your thought process: 1) You like things being tough. Having to sweat and bleed for it. But you'd grossed out at the thought as harmless as marketing yourself. 2) The plan to make you to connect with people is to please yourself (and stop worrying if it's cool enough for X or Y)."

Yes, I'm irrational, not coherently logical. I get that. But thinking logically doesn't fix my problems in this case. If it was that easy, I wouldn't have the problem, because I'm insanely analytical and skeptical of things and how they mechanically work. Art is insanely frustrating for me at times because a lot of it is based in subjective experiences and things that don't make sense logically, and can't be quantified mathematically.

"Not to throw a stinker, but pursuing what you love doesn't always equate to 'paying off'. Or at least in a monetary sense of the word. I saw a hand pan player just weeks ago getting reprimanded and banned by the cops telling him to not make a racket. And frankly us artists, like you and me, trying to fit in or stand out but not getting a single cent out of it. What you're seeing is a fabricated sense of reality. Where in fact, tons of people (including all of those successful artists you've mentioned) have to do so much more than just doing what they love. Who in their right minds would publicize their catastrophic failures out there more than their success stories."

Yea I have no problem doing boring work for clients, it's just acquiring the jobs is the hard part, being attracting them or applying directly. I just want freelance art jobs that are in the ballpark of what I've been studying the past few years, even if they're not as fulfilling.

"It seems you like quotes, so I'll throw you one that might sound familiar: "It's been fun roughin and tumblin with ya john, I can't make these walls of text everyday, I don't feel like anything is getting done here..."

I still don't remember what we were arguing about... probably one of my incoherent emotional diatribes that are full of contradictions and confusing points. I appreciate ya bein here John, and everyone, we'll get through it!


http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...4,4&p=full



Sooo, i remembered Tehmeh's advice today, and decided to try it out and boy it really helps you fight through problems, and like just going after. It's basically to do a piece from imagination for 1-2 hrs and think about what it's lacking in, and using whatever means to improve it. Of course one needs a keen eye for mistakes to know what is flawed, and my eye is certainly far far beyond my hand. I imagine it will be extremely satisfying to catch the two up in however long that takes. 

My gameplan now is to simply get out as many of these bad or flawed sketches that I can and just focus on them, and try to make them better using reference for anatomy and trying to just patch up holes in my knowledge until things start to look cohesive. I feel it happening quicker when I work like this because most of my problems are in the drawing and composition phase. I can't tell you how much I'll sit there and struggle to make like a neck look right or a hand be the right size. But as I went through these, they felt more focused and easier. 

I'll do these for a while until I get a solid idea for a piece. One that's a blend of all the things I enjoy; I had one earlier, but I can't even make up my mind what it looks like in my head, so maybe some sleep and time will help me decide that.


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...3,5&p=full

More work on just imagining poses today, need to work on the back of the leg and feet, and like turning the foot in space


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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So I drew till my arm hurt today. Lots from imagination, occasionally checking on things I got stuck on. I drew lots of feet from various artists, seeing how they simplify.

I feel like this approach peels back layers of things I haven't figured out; even if the content is just naked ladies, there are principles of design in how things jut in and out, and have rythms/gesture. I might add some element tomorrow, like wrapping lines or some sort of smoke/fabric as a com positional element in my drawings. Just slowly add in things, kinda like a workout... at least that's how it feels.

Need to work on better gestures with hands, like smoothly getting them into the drawing without that ugly bulky thing I always do. I need em to be more graceful and smooth. alot of it is just doing less. 

http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...3,0&p=full

I notice^ this thing always says I'm "lazy when it comes to putting forth a lot of effort" on the days I work the most. Interesting.


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...5,5&p=full

aightey, i think some of the torsoes I draw are starting to look more attractive, just need to think more of gesture, since I have this hangup in my head where I'm thinking oh the arms gotta be bent or going this way, and I get annoyed drawing just hands from the top, like where the knuckles are. Same with legs really, limbs have a limited movement, which i guess seeing that is good because I understand what they can do, but need to think beyond their limitations and into more of how to place a figure and have it mean something.

The other thing, which i criticize others for often because i struggle with it myself, is finding a story to place the figure in, or at least have a pose or expression that has some tension or some meaning to look into. 

Gonna study some gustave dore stuff tomorrow, to think differently about composition. As well as this Paul Felix dude who is a disney concept artist and storyboarder, really REALLY gorgeous stuff... Ahh my god just looking at that stuff hurts my soul ,its just so goddam good ugh....


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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"I really wanna draw like elegant interesting compositions of beautiful ladies with pale skin, lots of eyeliner, and a bit of a sinful undertone. Funny, sexy, dark. Something like that. Problem is I can't find an artist who does that thing"

...girls with like elegant pieces of stone and relics of antiques and gothic fashion, and have it look really illustrated and expressive, you know, things floating in air or underwater or something."

You're in the same boat as most people I know where we start off pursuing the wrong practice. It's not a bad thing, it let's us know our aesthetic sense and our technical ability. On CD you're surrounding yourself with dudes, monsters and robots. As far as subject matter goes, they exist, just not here.

Look to independent illustrators. I think you might like these:
https://deharme.deviantart.com/gallery/
https://www.yoannlossel.com/artwork

They're two of the most elegant illustrators I've seen. The level of metal/gothyness is relevant to you and your taste. You don't have to find someone with your exact aesthetic to copy from, but find people in your chosen field with similar tastes and learn from how they use it.

"Your art has same face syndrome"

"Yeah, and yours has same tits syndrome, you don't see anyone complaining..."
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Sketcherinos
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http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...4,4&p=full


Rottenpocket: Thanks, i actually kind of avoided those artists when i found them out of this strange envy... I came to discover today, my biggest problem is just lack of technical skill, I don't really think it's the content of my work holding me back, that's gonna look however it looks, but sure; I definitely think it will head in the direction of those guys, especially after today.



okay so, i woke up today to a private message from someone who wishes to be unnamed, and well, they took a big risk in what they said to me in the form of critique. It was very blunt, very honest, and not very specific. But it was right. I was very interested, and not the least bit offended; it was something I'd wanted for a long time, but finally got it today, and i consider myself lucky in that regard. 

I'd like to give a big thanks to that person, they know who they are. I'll leave you with this quote from a book they reccomended, then I'll have ya know I'm gonna be doing quite a few of these long form figure studies until they start looking "correct."



"As will be explained later, in connection with academic drawing, it is eminently necessary for the student to train his eye accurately to observe the forms of things by the most painstaking of drawings. In these school studies feeling need not be considered, but only a cold accuracy. In the same way a singer trains himself to sing scales, giving every note exactly the same weight and preserving a most mechanical time throughout, so that every note of his voice may be accurately under his control and be equal to the subtlest variations he may afterwards want to infuse into it at the dictates of feeling. For how can the draughtsman, who does not know how to draw accurately the cold, commonplace view of an object, hope to give expression to the subtle differences presented by the same thing seen under the excitement of strong feeling?"


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...5,5&p=full

the pain is real!

Kinda seeing things differently when i draw, more relating angles to one another, finding appealing shapes in subtle line choices, aiming more for the use of sophisticated straight lines, even within curved lines. really interesting, spent about 3 hrs on this sketch, and it's still flawed in many ways. I copied the angle of the torso going back wrong, and i noticed how poorly i used to draw toes, the swoop of the calf muscle, the thickness of an extended forearm, stuff like that. Got a lot more to do.

All i can do is keep trying


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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uuuugh didnt get to work much today, entertaining ppl is so time consuming... Gonna work on this more tomorrow, you can really pick anything to train observation because the same gears in your brain starts moving seeing angles and such. It's a Rubens painting study i believe

http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...5,7&p=full


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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So i'm gonna repost this thing I said to miss Noodleinbox earlier, i think it sums up my thought process recently

"So, when you study, what are we doing? Training observation; our ability to see things correctly.

There is a phenomena that as you improve and as the days go by you see more and see differently or "have fresh eyes."

So, take it from me and know that, just because you do a new study, doesn't mean your learning observation better. Especially if you only spend an hour or two on it. I think, the more you can observe in a study, the faster you'll grow, the same study. 

Say like a photo study; instead of doing three new ones every day, take one, work on it for hours, trying to get it as close as you can. Then the next day, notice the mistakes, spend more time correcting it. Put it away for a week, come back and you'll see new problems, fix those. Because then you're not trying to fill a quota of just drawing a lot, but actually learning and improving observation skills. "

http://colorquiz.com/results.php?code=m,...3,2&p=full


Yea, my figures are getting a little  better. I spent probably 4 hrs on that old lady face today, just cringing at what i had the day before and I think it's a lot closer now, but i know I'll look at it even tomorrow and see tons of issues. The other figure drawing was extremely hard and the head looks awful, but hey that's what it's all about right? probably spent... 3 hrs just on that linedrawing; it's embarrassing lol


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[color=rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.882)]e owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke.[/color]
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