Please critique this

[VecThor]

Hi guys,
It took me hours to do this piece. I think that the piece looks boring even with the actions. I guess it's probably due to the lack of details but I couldn't think of anything to add. I also think the female character looks weird. Maybe it's the skin tone? Any ideas and feedbacks are much appreciated.

[Madzia]

Boring is really good world cuz it immediately point the the problem. The story is boring. Not lack of details (that hardly ever help anyhow) I have no idea who is the main character here. Monster is the biggest and situated in strong point so maybe him? But i'm not convinced... You know the scenario and your task is to tell the story with picture. And you have two medium to achieve it Light and composition.
Monster is looking cool, guys shoes are cool, lazer pistol - cool! Tity girl also cool! But what connect them together?! You have too many main characters, everything is at the same level of importance (even crack in wall attracts too much attention) and in consequent all is flat.

[VecThor]

Thank you for your critique! The intended story is that the guy and the girl is hunted down by that monster. The guy is very skilled and so he fights the monster. The girl, however, is terrified by the monster. So she is hiding. Maybe I could give the girl a gun to show there is a connection?

Also, I want the focus to be the action between the monster and the guy. But I think that would just make the monster pop out too much because the purple is pretty bright. Maybe I should just darken everything around it?

Anyway, thank you again and I will change the piece according to your feedback.

[Madzia]

After reading your story I remembered one good tip you could use. You should show the action seconds before it happen. Picture should not show the results, you should leave audience with unanswered questions to grab their attention. On you picture the monster already grab them, he's freaking mutant and blowing is head off does not look to harm him much. They literally dead. The end. No hope for them.



It's my personal idea you could do it totally different, but just showing the whole scene few seconds before changed mood of the story. You can build tension, maybe girl just fell down, guy is trying to help her stand up same time turning back and shoot monster and monster almost grabbing him but will the monster catch him? will shooting monster head stop it? will girl stand up? will they run away?
I also make composition base on triangle to close eye flow only around characters.

[par gin]

I agree that you shouldn't try to capture the moment the bullet impacts the monster. There's no suspense. Another reason it might look boring is the way the characters are all positioned in kind of the middle ground. It makes it all just kind of flat, despite the perspective. I would maybe move the girl into the foreground a little more to give the piece some depth.

The girl bothers me because of her pose and expression, not so much anything else. She doesn't look like she's in a life-threatening situation. She just looks sad, but not even sad like she's going to die; she looks more like someone ate the last Oreo. And she's just standing there. She's not making any move to save herself or the guy. Also, her hands are tiny. And she should be more in shadow, being around the corner from the gunshot and with no other light source.

The tunnel bothers me too. Behind the guy, the wall is the same value as the floor. I'm not sure if that's right, but for the sake of readability: form change = value change. Also, what is this place made out of? Why is it green? Are those walkways wide enough for those characters to walk down? Is this water clean? Would it be splashing around?

The monster, what's his skin like, scaly or slimy or metallic? His right arm is cocked back ready to punch, but that pipe on the wall looks too close to let him pull back that far.

I think that's about all I've got. Hope something in there helped.

[VecThor]

Thank you guys for the reply! I really like your idea, Madzia. I am think maybe I could have the monster popping out from the wall. Like he just break through the wall and the pipe and ready to attack.