Will Warburton's sketchbook

[Warburton]

hey folks, another late reply. Ive been pretty lazy this last month, i'm not going to lie. Everytime I go on one of these depression drops I seem to get closer and closer to finishing up. I took a long walk into the woods and got lost, but i'm back now lol.

I'm going to go on another ramble again, in the hope that to those of you who read this don't think of me as some whiny attention whore but more as someone who's just trying to be as honest and open as possible and might be able to relate or take some courage from this. I know ive mentioned in the past that it seems almost impossible to get to the stage I want to be, where i'm living a respectable living from doing this I love. Especially when you hear fellow artists talk about the shit rates their having to deal with it but it goes deeper than that. The family, friends and colleagues, customers etc etc that surround me everyday all seem so far away from anything I can comprehend. It's almost like i'm a different species from them. I see this pattern which people desperately clamber into which involves comfort and routine. Nobody I see is truly pushing themselves or evolving, or willing to sacrifice for something more. I see humans chasing false dreams which have been laid before their feet to set them up for a life of luxury. This might sound pretentious, and maybe it is. I'm a guy who has nothing and so have no right to judge others, it's just I feel myself being pulled into this world and it breaks a conflict in my heart.
I can't keep living here at my parents, I don't even have a bed or a desk here, I sleep in the living room and work of the dining room table. Meanwhile my parents don't hide the fact that they don't want me here, and so my first thought is to move out. Get a new job doing anything, so long as I can earn the money to afford rend and bills etc. As for this? Well that would be a pipedream or a hobby and I guess i'd have to pursue a more realistic career. But hey, it's not all bad right? I'd be able to live a life of luxury, have a bigger social life, a nice car, get into a relationship, buy some expensive shit. You get the picture..
On the other hand I think ive taken a trip too far down this rabbit hole to turn back now. I should just push harder than ever and get either a studio job as an artist or stable freelance and keep progressing this graft, following my own ideas and try to do something meaningful. Keep putting up with the parents that despise me and working of a dining room table to perfect my skills. It's a tricky decision but the longer I do this the more appealing the first option becomes.
I think this is why I just spent nearly a month with my head buried up my ass playing computer games. I was trying to drown the pain of this decision by ignoring it, and games are a great means for this. Looking at it worded like this it sounds retarded, but at the time to be honest I didn't really know why I was doing it, it just made me feel better for a short time. Dam i'm sounding like a crack addict lol, no more games for me, i'm done with that shit!
I'll stop this rambling now, but this is something I am unable to talk to anyone about propally for the above reasons and so writing it like this and being as honest as possible feels good. And I figure if anyone else gets like this and feels alone who reads this, might take some motivation or something from it too knowing that their not alone.

but for the time being, i'm here to stay


Archreux - hey man, i'll perhaps spend abit more time on that red cover piece, i just lost interest in it very quickly initially lol :p And yeah, i'm going to be doing more portfolio pieces in the very near future. Thanks a lot for your comment and support dude, i appreciate it.

studies
still life


eyes, hard as fuck and break my brain


mind games and sketches
no lines


blah ??


another cover piece which died very quickly


night sketchy sketch,

plus values :p


see you soon <3