08-25-2015, 12:37 AM
When you're out in social situations do you notice yourself thinking about what to say or what others might think? You might be playing out entire scenarios in your head of possible outcomes which leads you to never actually taking any actions. Afterwards you feel exhausted when you barely interacted with anyone. Thinking does actually burn calories so its not far fetched to say you exhausted yourself thinking about socializing not the actual act of socializing. The difference between an extrovert and an introvert is that an extrovert naturally turns off their inner dialogue when around others. Typically the extrovert feels uncomfortable alone because then their thoughts take over and all their anxieties, fears and regrets emerge. They then wear themselves out thinking in circles and need to "recharge" by being around others again.
Introverts have the same negative thoughts when alone but have developed coping mechanisms like escaping into a book or a video game. When they enter a social situation theres nothing to occupy the mind so they're defenseless against thoughts taking them over. So the real problem is not that you are somewhere on a scale between an introvert or an extrovert and socializing either drains or recharges you. The problem is the mind is completely running the show and people have to distract it in order to not stress themselves out and drain their energy. Pay attention to thoughts as they arise but dont identify with them. Identify with the awareness of thought.
Also you guys mentioned that people dont talk about the things you want them to talk about. You've built up your identity with the things you know and when someone doesnt indulge your mind the same way you do while you're alone your sense of self is threatened. You then retract from the interaction either mentally or physically as a defense mechanism to protect the false sense of identity, AKA the ego.
Its also easy to get mad at others for behaving superficially or materialistically. Realize that they are controlled by the same conditioned thinking that all people experience. Its not who they are. Underneath all the greed, violence, hatred and general douchebaggary is a pure consciousness that radiates love. Not the kind of love that is fleeting either. Consciousness needs nothing to feel complete. The ego is constantly in search of lasting fulfillment that it will never attain. It tries to identify with external things like how much money, knowledge, good looks or power one has. Those things never last and when they fall apart the identity is crushed leaving the person depressed.
So my advice is to shift your attention to the people around you and away from thinking. When your awareness is fully in the present moment you will be full of energy to socialize.
Introverts have the same negative thoughts when alone but have developed coping mechanisms like escaping into a book or a video game. When they enter a social situation theres nothing to occupy the mind so they're defenseless against thoughts taking them over. So the real problem is not that you are somewhere on a scale between an introvert or an extrovert and socializing either drains or recharges you. The problem is the mind is completely running the show and people have to distract it in order to not stress themselves out and drain their energy. Pay attention to thoughts as they arise but dont identify with them. Identify with the awareness of thought.
Also you guys mentioned that people dont talk about the things you want them to talk about. You've built up your identity with the things you know and when someone doesnt indulge your mind the same way you do while you're alone your sense of self is threatened. You then retract from the interaction either mentally or physically as a defense mechanism to protect the false sense of identity, AKA the ego.
Its also easy to get mad at others for behaving superficially or materialistically. Realize that they are controlled by the same conditioned thinking that all people experience. Its not who they are. Underneath all the greed, violence, hatred and general douchebaggary is a pure consciousness that radiates love. Not the kind of love that is fleeting either. Consciousness needs nothing to feel complete. The ego is constantly in search of lasting fulfillment that it will never attain. It tries to identify with external things like how much money, knowledge, good looks or power one has. Those things never last and when they fall apart the identity is crushed leaving the person depressed.
So my advice is to shift your attention to the people around you and away from thinking. When your awareness is fully in the present moment you will be full of energy to socialize.