Roanna's sketchbook AKA Negative Space
Hello guys, thanks for your replies.
I've been working on literally everything by little. Got stuck with hair (pls, don't help me with it now ^__^), need to figure out what and how I want it to be on my own. It's something about "it needs to be light, but in shadow, but still a high contrast and with the pearl feel to it, lighter than shoulder but darker than face (or not?) and overall shape design is wrong.. crap.

Also this post is going be quite long and personal one (and you shouldn't read all this crap, cause it helped me already in the process of writing) and first of all, I'd like to say thank you all for replying, helping, suggesting and all, you are so awesome, I'm so happy to find this community, can't imagine where I'd be without the support.

When a sun shined for two days and temperature increased to 12C I decided to go outside and draw a bit of people and trees around to relax, observe and, you know, maybe inspire. Also there are some scribbles of mermaids from imagination, which can't say I like them, but they are definitely better than they used to be. Everything was fine until anxiety came into play and I stopped drawing mermaid from fantasy. A bit of Reilly rhythms and Asian crowd of tourists, also one interesting tree which I'd be using\already used a bit in the current work.

Also on Tuesday there was a life drawing session, where I panicked... a lot... First of all, noticed that the way I draw while consciously studying anatomy\croquis cafe\watts differs from what I do at the life drawing session. Maybe it is because they are reaaaaly rare, or because of my anxiety about what other people'll say or simply because drawing from 2d video\pic is easier than interpreting 3d form onto 2d surface, IDK. But all those structure and consciousness of line that I got while drawing Artistique Physique  simply gone away. And, in addition, I either drew gesture or structure, it was confusing to build structure on top of existing gesture (wtf?), but it seems that there is no such problem for me during the home practice.
And the second thing was one guy who approached me after the end of session with words "nice drawings as for the first time". And I'm not fishing compliments here, no-no-no, it's just... you know... it's very heart breaking to know that after years of work your drawing still look like "the first time"... I was happy about my slow, but steady progress, I've never painted a naked figure before, hand, legs and feet, even drawing forest was new to me and every time some problem got solved that brought excitement into my life.
And I knew that there are proportional mistakes in those sketches, some structural and stiff decisions... but also it is easy to forget one's mistakes when he\she draws very loosely, stylistically, abstract or vaguely than the other's who tries to build things up realistically and structurally. And now I'm trying to incorporate my knowledge to what I see, not only fancy copy what's in from of me.

But that awful feeling of "not having a progress" or even "I used to draw better" is coming back. And I know that it is impossible that the week before I was happy about my development and now it feels as regression. It's kind of mind tricks, hopefully. And oh gosh, I'm so mad of that guy, cause I shouldn't have written here all this shit and I don't want to be caught into depression again as the last year.

Sketchbook (^_^)
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RE: Roanna's sketchbook AKA Negative Space - by roanna - 05-16-2019, 09:34 PM

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