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ok I'm assuming you want the focus to be the alien standing over the soldier on the left, as you stated you really like that, I'm not an expert in composition but I'll try to help as best I can, someone else may be of much more help than me though but here goes;
Ok so your focal point is the back lit alien, but the biggest problem I see is that the figure on the right is drawing all the attention away from this point and he looks way to happy to be there.
What I'd suggest to clear this up is get rid of this guy altogether and replace him with maybe the back of an alien but just so you can just make out the form, not detailed at all, just so it frames your focal point and adds more sense of impending doom. Then push the dark boarders more into the picture and make the background underneath the light darker. and the light from the background shining onto your focal point more than the rest of the scene.
Then bring detail the alien in front of soldier more, get really intricate, really make the light and dark work on his form, where the light hits most is where you can add very intricate details, to create a sense of of 'this guy is gonna tear the soldier apart with no remorse'.
Hope this is of some help to you as I think you've got the base for a really nice piece here!
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Hi Sam!
This is some progress compared to your first upload! =)
I would try losing focus on the background and - as you said - on the alien in the front, because they distract the eye. And why don't you give her a head light on the helmet?
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Man, that water looks friggin realistically awesome! great job!
I am a bit confused by the "thing" on the very right in the foreground. What is it supposed to be? it kind of steals the focus from the alien/marine with the current level of detail. Maybe blur it a bit, or make it darker?
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Cheers man.
Yeah he's going to be blurred out but want to get a bit more definition in the gooey jaw though so can make out that it's another alien before he gets blurred. saving him til last as he wont need much detail.
On my screen everything looks a little darker and more desaturated, i always forget before i upload images!
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Hey, thought I'd check back in to see how it was going, It's looking really good now, love the grime that you've added to walls and pipes and the water looks fantastic. As for the aliens, on the ceiling you could try moving the right one onto the the right wall so that you can have his face looking toward you focal point, that can help to move the viewers eye. Really like this piece, looking forward to seeing the finished image, Keep up the hard work!