So I'm working on a piece, something nice and detailed that would stick right in the front of my portfolio. While a lot of if I consider done, it seems to be just a couples of hours away from completion. I wound up seeing something that isn't quite right. Now I can't exactly put my finger on what that is, but something feels off, specifically the girl perhaps her dress? I can't tell. Maybe you can?
I am dying for some words of advice, even a paint over. What am I missing here, I can't see it. I'm hoping you spot it instantly.
I like your use of texture and the details on the horse are great! But I think the elf girl, in general looks way too flat. I mean, the horse's head? It looks almost 3d! But the elf looks like she was made of cardboard. Whatever you did to the horse, you should apply it to the elf girl. Maybe she was not finished yet, though.
Also, I think the yellow background looks too empty. You're showing a good use of perspective and an excellent use of texture, I think you could add some details in the back that give it some context, with no problem.
My humble 2 cents, great work.
Everything that Rognoll said + I would add more contrast, focal point. Viewer should focus on her. See the paintover.
Btw: Aren't her legs missing?
It's a somewhat solitary existence, a bit like a lighthouse keeper throwing a beam out into the darkness, in faith that this action might help someone unseen.
1. The perspective is slightly warped and wrong. The extreme distortion in the foreground isn't matched by the texture in the upper levels of the columns. Remember texture has to follow perspective too. In fact I think the ground plane where the columns are don't meet the actual ground plane according to perspective. Look at the converging lines of the floor and the angle of the ground plane at the foot of the columns...
2. I don't think the horse is proportionally in perspective either (that head looks massive)
3. The drapery is very loose at the moment and could do with a lot more love. Do more studies to get this right. Someone else said it as well "where are her legs"?
4. The lighting is inconsistent and incomplete. You seem to render shadow and form well, but you render it locally with less regard to overall light sources, so things like the horse's forelegs which should be mostly in shadow aren't, and I think this stems from a less overall focus on lighting scheme. Also look at the source of the lighting and the angle of the shadows on the horse. They don't match up; the shadow would probably be a lot more elongated. Shadows have to follow perspective too. The shadowing on the figure should be much darker and pronounced given the shadowing cast by the horse. It should be at least as dark on the figure and cast according to the volumes of the figure, overiding the local shadowing of the individual folds on the dress.
5. The arm and bow on the figure are not complete at all. They still look like part of a sketch and need rendering up.
6. There are detailing issues where the background has more texture density (not detail, but density) than the focus. This should be the other way around. More density on the figure, less on the floor and columns.
7. Narrative wise, I have no idea why there is a sword on the floor. It makes little sense and the way it is drawn, it is skewing scale a little bit, so I would just remove it.
It's a lot to work on, but I feel that you've bitten off more than you can chew...(which isn't a bad thing...but it just means you need to step up to execute it well) And unfortunately, until you do nail those issues, I wouldn't put this into your folio.
Good comments guys, I appreciate the input. Really thats exactly what I needed, a set of outside eyes to spot the things I missed. I took monkeybeards advice and took a second look at the perspective, I found indeed it wasn't right. Luckily it was a quick fix, and I added in some reflective quality to the tiles. I really think that the ideal mood wasn't quite there. I'm dabbling with doing some other background elements... though I won't overload the background.
As for the character herself I pushed her back a few steps. I'm going to try something different this next go. I still want to tweak the horse some more.
Once again this is just a work in progress, far from done. Next I'll be working out on the girl. I need to apply some fixes to the horse still, and also look into those other background items. I'll update you again when I get a chance. I'm busy and don't get to check back too often, but I really really enjoyed your comments. It helped a TON. So thank you!. To be continued!
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