I don't understand why the glowing part are active if it clearly being under a light source.On a other note there is no clear explanation why all those wire are useful to the design maybe morph those wire into something else .The top part of the machine as no sense of depth because there is not much Overlapping in that part of the image also the light on the head doesnt help because it almost flatten the form. I would recommend you to add a simple background so you that the light on the head doesn't blend with the white background if it possible.Sorry for my comment that are design related.My best advice on rendering do some sphere made of different material and do a lot of still life but the most important use a light source that fit the mood.
dartiste is right, the shiniest part on your mech is blending into the white bg. I can't actually see the top of its skull, my mind's eye made it up using the end of the curves on the front and the back of the skull. So I added a black and white gradient to the bg, making a guess for the skull shape. Even if it's clear in your hi res version, keep in mind your clients often won't see the hi res version until near the end, or they might only look at the thumbnail version when seeing your portfolio site. If it isn't intriguing enough in that state, they might not even click on it. Unless you're working in-house and showing big, hi res images to your client/art director/boss/etc directly, best to make sure the thumbnails (your front line) already carries the essential message and impact. Then when they're lured in by that, you can wow them with the details.
I also dimmed some of your pink lights, to redirect emphasis to the eye lights (assuming that's the focus), and creating layers of attention in the lights.
Also added some dark and pure black areas on your metal parts to reinforce some of the hard edges. Even matt metal have strong contrasts along the edges where faces meet at different angle. Added dark areas around the eye lights to make it jump more.
Lastly you seemed to copied the arms, but did not change the perspective, so the far away arm looks like it's twisting inwards toward the camera, and it also screams C+V, so I mucked around with it to pretend it's more like the perspective it should have.
I like the colour palette the pinks and blues are really working well together.
However I agree with darktiste about those wires or chains hanging down, they don't seem to have any purpose or function (form follows function), this is breaking the reality of a believable machine, wires are used for electric current to flow through, but these are just hanging down from the machine which is obviously live but they are not connected to anything, where as the ones connected to the machines head serve a purpose. I think you'd be better off getting rid of the hanging wires altogether.
When you create a design you want to preesent it as well as possible, presenting this on a white background isn't helping it, if you were to maybe change the background to a 40-50 percent grey I think it would help the overall presentation of the machine and it's nice glowing lights.
Secondly that little machine is distracting from the main design, possible due to it being around the area of an intersecting rule of thirds, it isn't adding anything so I'd just get rid of it.
I think there are a few perspective issues on the left side of the canvas with the arm and leg of the machine, looking at it again it's maybe just the arm, I thing its because the arm on the side closest to us (right) comes out from the body but the one on the left doesnt seem to, did you try using the draw through method to check it? if you do that for the unseen elements I thin it will help you find any perspective issues.
Also there is no ground shadow so for the moment it's just floating on paper I assume it's a machine that moves through the air but still to ground it with a shadow somwhere on the ground plane that it is above would probably also help presentation wise.
Overall I think it's a pretty cool and interesting take on a mechanical design, (and personal taste prob, but I really like the pink lights you have on it) im not trying to come across as overly critical or anything, I just think the above points would help to really push it that much further, hope that was of some help to you :)
If white background is a requirement, can you do a black outline of the entire thing like a style? Like this guy: http://cpt.ninja-x.jp/img/ra_24.jpg He puts like a Photoshop Stroke along the ouside of his character to make sure it jumps off the white bg.
Meat, thank you so much! I'm afraid the style (without black contour) is established already, so I'll look for a workaround.
On the other side, I'm very curious about how you've determined that some places of shell need more black and dark for them ("strong contrasts along the edges where faces meet at different angle"). Did you have to look at some references to realize that, or that is intrinsic knowledge that has come with experience, so you don't have to look anywhere and just know that.
(08-01-2014, 03:48 AM)tedmx Wrote: Meat, thank you so much! I'm afraid the style (without black contour) is established already, so I'll look for a workaround.
On the other side, I'm very curious about how you've determined that some places of shell need more black and dark for them ("strong contrasts along the edges where faces meet at different angle"). Did you have to look at some references to realize that, or that is intrinsic knowledge that has come with experience, so you don't have to look anywhere and just know that.
Part of the knowledge is from past plein air and animal painting experience that taught me to use contrast and where it could be darker but still make sense. Part of that is from reading and learning from others, which confirmed and put to clear words how and why contrast works. And last but not least, I quickly looked at examples of matte metal before giving you feedback. Stuff I looked at include my desk lamp, laptop, and this door knob image from Google: http://www.dgheath.co.uk/wp-content/uplo...header.png
I'm no better most. I'm no pro either. My knowledge may be skewed, so it's important you form your own decision by testing out what I suggest. We are all learning.
