after some feed back on my comic

[xelfereht]

My first real attempt at a comic..
the story has been in my head for a few years and i was doing the thing of waiting till i was good enough to execute it
but yeah, that time never comes without first doing something right..
I don't wanna say too much, just want to hear your thoughts without and pretense

[Amit Dutta]

Heya man, just gonna talk on the technique, since the panel layout is pretty straightforward, and no dialogue.
i find the rushed speedpaint aesthetic works nicely when it has a pleasing and well thought out balance of soft and hard edges. I don't think you manage it so far in these pages so most of the panels end up looking blurry or 'unfinished'. You use hard edges mostly, but in a fairly sloppy way which often flattens the depth or draws unwanted attention. Example first time we see the main yellow dude which should be an intriguing important establishing shot, the main payoff is the figure which is a messy yellow blob surrounded by wonky architecture, and he has no face! Another is the multi kill strip....it is hard to tell what is going on even though i know what it's supposed to be. figures are real sloppy.

Check out ghostblade by wlop for good examples of speedpainty quick style panels, but precise control of edges and focal points to create a more finished appeal.

While you definitely shouldn't wait till you 'are good enough' you might want to consider working on the aesthetic a bit more before you continue. Maybe trial out several different specific techniques or looks on a single panel or page first, before you apply to the whole comic. At the moment, aesthetically it feels like you aren't 'finishing' any of the panels and detracted from my enjoyment of the story. I'd also recommend line drawing the panels if you aren't to at least be able to get a bit more precise with your painting in areas where it may be needed, even if you end up hiding the linework

[xelfereht]

Heya man, just gonna talk on the technique, since the panel layout is pretty straightforward, and no dialogue.
i find the rushed speedpaint aesthetic works nicely when it has a pleasing and well thought out balance of soft and hard edges. I don't think you manage it so far in these pages so most of the panels end up looking blurry or 'unfinished'. You use hard edges mostly, but in a fairly sloppy way which often flattens the depth or draws unwanted attention.  Example first time we see the main yellow dude which should be an intriguing important establishing shot, the main payoff is the figure which is a messy yellow blob surrounded by wonky architecture, and he has no face! Another is the multi kill strip....it is hard to tell what is going on even though i know what it's supposed to be. figures are real sloppy.
 
Check out ghostblade by wlop for good examples of speedpainty quick style panels, but precise control of edges and focal points to create a more finished appeal.

While you definitely shouldn't wait till you 'are good enough' you might want to consider working on the aesthetic a bit more before you continue. Maybe trial out several different specific techniques or looks on a single panel or page first, before you apply to the whole comic. At the moment, aesthetically it feels like you aren't 'finishing' any of the panels and detracted from my enjoyment of the story. I'd also recommend line drawing the panels if you aren't to at least be able to get a bit more precise with your painting in areas where it may be needed, even if you end up hiding the linework

Thanks for the reply,
fair enough.. I could render allot more, just trying to fit this around other work but youre right, i dont have the knack for getting enough appeal and clarity while painting quick yet. was hoping this would be good practice for that.
hmm if the roughness is detracting from it thats no good..ill work on it
cheers for your thoughts

[G.Cell]

Wooh man, nice concept, most like killbill or something haha, Anyway nice idea and the layout are pretty awesome I also feel the vibe and the action keep it up. As of now I cannot say more about the quality since this was just very rough, IM pretty sure your gonna finish this and hope to see it soon. I imagine this some kind of a samurai x feel on it. pretty good job, Goodluck man.

Cheers

[xelfereht]

Wooh man, nice concept, most like killbill or something haha, Anyway nice idea and the layout are pretty awesome I also feel the vibe and the action keep it up. As of now I cannot say more about the quality since this was just very rough, IM pretty sure your gonna finish this and hope to see it soon. I imagine this some kind of a samurai x feel on it. pretty good job, Goodluck man.

Cheers

hey thanks for taking a look, ive got a fair bit of the story in mind, just about making the time to illustrate for it. ill have to consider putting more rendering time in or developing a more appealing look thats not too time intensive.
hmmm ill figure it out haha.
tanks again for commenting on it :)