seeking composition critique

[mchammer75]

Hi, I'm new here on the forum and I'm looking to get some compositional critiques on this piece I am working on. I feel like I'm running into a problem with the figure in the foreground of the image, I don't think the silhouette is working at all and so I'm curious if anyone could give any feedback. Thanks and I look forward to being apart of the community!

[xelfereht]

Can you explain a bit about whats happening in the image? what are you going for?

[mchammer75]

Can you explain a bit about whats happening in the image? what are you going for?

Sure, I imagine this scene as being an encounter between a young girl and a monster peering at her through a vent in a dead end alley. I originally had a profile shot of her and the alien which also featured a parade in the background (which would explain why she was carrying a balloon), but I cut that out because it was too flat. I like the idea of the monster being obscured with darkness in the vent, with a light peering over the top of this manhole that illuminates the tentacle that is coming out, maybe offering the kid something as she approaches. Does that help any? I'll post a revised version of this later. Thanks for commenting!

[xelfereht]

Can you explain a bit about whats happening in the image? what are you going for?

Sure, I imagine this scene as being an encounter between a young girl and a monster peering at her through a vent in a dead end alley. I originally had a profile shot of her and the alien which also featured a parade in the background (which would explain why she was carrying a balloon), but I cut that out because it was too flat. I like the idea of the monster being obscured with darkness in the vent, with a light peering over the top of this manhole that illuminates the tentacle that is coming out, maybe offering the kid something as she approaches. Does that help any? I'll post a revised version of this later. Thanks for commenting!

here's a quick suggested comp. my perspective skills are purdy shit but i think try get the viewing angle lower to the kids POV. so you could go further than what i did but anyway, kinda gives it more that vibe like you're the kid or a kid..
you can use the light to obscure the creature in the back while highlighting the tentacle or what its offering to the kid.
bit of rule of thirds for choosing the first read which in my case id choose balloon, kid, creature in that order. hope that helps. im tired but just thought id have a quick crack at it

[mchammer75]

Can you explain a bit about whats happening in the image? what are you going for?

Sure, I imagine this scene as being an encounter between a young girl and a monster peering at her through a vent in a dead end alley. I originally had a profile shot of her and the alien which also featured a parade in the background (which would explain why she was carrying a balloon), but I cut that out because it was too flat. I like the idea of the monster being obscured with darkness in the vent, with a light peering over the top of this manhole that illuminates the tentacle that is coming out, maybe offering the kid something as she approaches. Does that help any? I'll post a revised version of this later. Thanks for commenting!

here's a quick suggested comp. my perspective skills are purdy shit but i think try get the viewing angle lower to the kids POV. so you could go further than what i did but anyway, kinda gives it more that vibe like you're the kid or a kid..
you can use the light to obscure the creature in the back while highlighting the tentacle or what its offering to the kid.
bit of rule of thirds for choosing the first read which in my case id choose balloon, kid, creature in that order. hope that helps. im tired but just thought id have a quick crack at it

Thank you for taking the time with that, I'll take that into consideration and post another version shortly!

[mchammer75]

Alright I'm exploring the idea a bit more with these thumbnails today, still trying to find the identity of the piece. I like the idea of it being set in a sewer setting which some of these are and I have decided the monster is more of a blind witch who lives in the sewers and is stalking a young girl, but I'm still having trouble with the positioning of the girl and how I can work her into the composition. There are also a couple of side variations of just playing around with the witch drawing itself.