Pushing this further?
#1
I plan on redoing the tufts so they look more like feathers, but if anyone has feedback or sees other areas that could be touched, I'd be very grateful if you shared. 

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#2
I would suggest you study multiple lighting scenario.As i find this one not helping show form.

I do not feel the roundess of the neck the value change doesn't change rapidly enought to indicate a cylinder like form

I also feel the texture you applied for the hair section doesn't indicate accurately what i think is leaf
A leaf as alway as center line(vein) that branch into smaller one.Not random veins as far as i know.Try to base you texture on observation not just blindly applying indication.Try to understand the grouping and direction and the shadow pattern of a texture because texture is also value change on a different scale.''A texture is way to complex to be accurate we strive as artist to create the illusion of texture''

Maybe you could try to do a few study of plant
http://drawabox.com/lesson/3


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#3
(01-22-2018, 06:49 AM)darktiste Wrote: I would suggest you study multiple lighting scenario.As i find this one not helping show form.

I do not feel the roundess of the neck the value change doesn't change rapidly enought to indicate a cylinder like form

I also feel the texture you applied for the hair section doesn't indicate accurately what i think is leaf
A leaf as alway as center line(vein) that branch into smaller one.Not random veins as far as i know.Try to base you texture on observation not just blindly applying indication.Try to understand the grouping and direction and the shadow pattern of a texture because texture is also value change on a different scale.''A texture is way to complex to be accurate we strive as artist to create the illusion of texture''

Maybe you could try to do a few study of plant
http://drawabox.com/lesson/3
Thank you, darktiste!

I'm still working, but may I ask for your thoughts on the alterations so far? In addition to changing the leaves, I've altered the along the neck and I'm working on the lighting facing frontward instead.


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#4
I could share more comment on the visual aspect of the piece but i choose i would address the topic of design instead.Since i believe you missed direction in the design.She is like many thing at the same time.If i would have to describe her in my own word is would be a merfolk dyrad with some bird feather.

It not something really viable from a design stand point.Not in term of believable and easy to understand.Just remember that a creature evolve the way it is because of it environnement so it important that we can clearly identify from what type of environnement it come from.

I invite you to read my post here maybe you will understand what i mean.

http://crimsondaggers.com/forum/thread-6301.html

If you miss the point i try to explain.We cannot understand the nature of the creature we looking at is it flying?Is it swimming? Where can they be found?What the use of the feather of her face?Why is her skin blue-green.The more question you can answer clearly the better design will come out.

My Sketchbook
The journey of an artist truly begin when he can learn from everyone error.
Teamwork make your dream work.
Asking help is the key to growth.
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#5
(01-22-2018, 11:13 AM)darktiste Wrote: I could share more comment on the visual aspect of the piece but i choose i would address the topic of design instead.Since i believe you missed direction in the design.She is like many thing at the same time.If i would have to describe her in my own word is would be a merfolk dyrad with some bird feather.

It not something really viable from a design stand point.Not in term of believable and easy to understand.Just remember that a creature evolve the way it is because of it environnement so it important that we can clearly identify from what type of environnement it come from.

I invite you to read my post here maybe you will understand what i mean.

http://crimsondaggers.com/forum/thread-6301.html

If you miss the point i try to explain.We cannot understand the nature of the creature we looking at is it flying?Is it swimming? Where can they be found?What the use of the feather of her face?Why is her skin blue-green.The more question you can answer clearly the better design will come out.

Sorry. I was typing and didn't realize the post had gone through!
--

Ahhh. I see. I indeed misunderstood. 

Thank you for linking me to your thread, darktiste!  Happy I've saved it! I will keep those notes in mind for the future designs- but for now I would appreciate further feedback on visuals. The piece was intended to be a technical exercise. It's a re-drawing of this doodle done in August!  I'm not opposed to altering the design (and I most likely will), but I wanted to learn where I need further practice at.
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#6
I got something else for you because i am kinda dry on critic i don't over critic i prefer to leave space for a range of opinion and expertise.

It more valuable than anything i could have added

https://www.autodestruct.com/thumbwar.htm

My Sketchbook
The journey of an artist truly begin when he can learn from everyone error.
Teamwork make your dream work.
Asking help is the key to growth.
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#7
(01-22-2018, 03:00 PM)darktiste Wrote: I got something else for you because i am kinda dry on critic i don't over critic i prefer to leave space for a range of opinion and expertise.

It more valuable than anything i could have added

https://www.autodestruct.com/thumbwar.htm

Saved. Thank you very much.
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