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Do you have a reference for like what kind of rendering you would want to achieve that you feel like yours falls short of? Because with super stylized work it's pretty hard to say how it should be without knowing that intention.
Right now the only thing that comes to mind is that I'm not sure if the arms are another person's hands that are like going to grab the guy, or if they are his own arms. Just because without more context you assume they are his arms yet they are a different color, and the left one appears behind the body.
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i would add a couple more arms, the composition might work better as a longer vertical canvas if you wanted to add a bit more of his body. that might make the idea read more clear. As for the rendering style it seems like you're achieving what you described, i'm not too sure about that since it's very personal and it's also not a style of drawing I have done much of.
That being said one idea is look at some drawings that create the kind of gritty, horror vibe. Like Francis Bacon's charcoal drawings maybe. Vigorous marks and scribbles can sometimes do a lot to evoke disturbed feelings for example. I think those decisions are ultimately up to your preference, though.
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Ty for the recommendation of the artist, they seem like they've made some very interesting material actually, I will probably do a pass of the drawing in the morning :) i appreciate the help.