08-20-2015, 02:44 PM
You're gittin gud man.
Also,
"I hate myself sometimes. I remember really pushing myself 2 years ago when I started, I did get frustrated a lot more about the results of my art which made it even harder to work. I recall being way more dutiful and hardworking and how good it felt at the end of the day once I had done over 10 hours of work. I remember watching the old Dan Warren streams that mentioned how much you gotta practice to make it in the industry and seeing multiple forum posts geared towards hard-work mentality. The 2 times I consistently worked hard was the summer of 2013 and the first 2 months of school in 2013. Both ended in a burnout, but that was because I had'nt learned to not be frustrated with the resulting artwork.
And now? What of this summer? I did a mere fraction of the work I could have done, I barely broke a sweat which is even more puzzling since I dont get frustrated by bad results now. Perhaps me being frustrated caused me to push myself harder, or maybe its just that my discipline has regressed to nothingness. Maybe I subconsciously feel like my art has reached adequate quality for the time I put in and theres no need to rush, since theres plenty of time left once I go fulltime freelance. Consciously I think thats bullshit. Ive been contemplating moving to a better apartment, when I go to school again, which would force me to work more, since I would run out of money otherwise, but it seems too risky. I wish I had that initial drive and dutifulness back, in all the ways Ive improved over the past, this is the one way Ive regressed."
A-a-are you my conscience? Exactly how I feel. Always embarrassing coming back to daggers after my long breaks and vows to keep up the hard work. But you've only lost when you don't come back and start again, I guess?
Also,
"I hate myself sometimes. I remember really pushing myself 2 years ago when I started, I did get frustrated a lot more about the results of my art which made it even harder to work. I recall being way more dutiful and hardworking and how good it felt at the end of the day once I had done over 10 hours of work. I remember watching the old Dan Warren streams that mentioned how much you gotta practice to make it in the industry and seeing multiple forum posts geared towards hard-work mentality. The 2 times I consistently worked hard was the summer of 2013 and the first 2 months of school in 2013. Both ended in a burnout, but that was because I had'nt learned to not be frustrated with the resulting artwork.
And now? What of this summer? I did a mere fraction of the work I could have done, I barely broke a sweat which is even more puzzling since I dont get frustrated by bad results now. Perhaps me being frustrated caused me to push myself harder, or maybe its just that my discipline has regressed to nothingness. Maybe I subconsciously feel like my art has reached adequate quality for the time I put in and theres no need to rush, since theres plenty of time left once I go fulltime freelance. Consciously I think thats bullshit. Ive been contemplating moving to a better apartment, when I go to school again, which would force me to work more, since I would run out of money otherwise, but it seems too risky. I wish I had that initial drive and dutifulness back, in all the ways Ive improved over the past, this is the one way Ive regressed."
A-a-are you my conscience? Exactly how I feel. Always embarrassing coming back to daggers after my long breaks and vows to keep up the hard work. But you've only lost when you don't come back and start again, I guess?