04-16-2020, 01:06 AM
What are you doing hanging on the ceiling, spider!? Ha, a follow up of your comment on my SB.
Ugh, I prefer to keep my panels buried for now ha ha, I read Framed ink a month ago and spot some issues, although it left me with more questions than answers ha ha. Gonna have to go over it again.
Suggestions. When they come in I'm guessing one character overpowers the other with the "Yes, please!", put more emphasis on that, make it bigger, bolder or make the other smaller or cut it earlier, else seems like they are contradicting each other with equal weight, so you left the reader wondering who is leading who where. (you could resolve that on a follow up panel I guess if it's meaningful for the characters arc, if they are at odds or not working as a group).
"I'm hungry" / "May I help...?" Those point to two different personalities, archetypes, the humble and the impatient. Either you do the hungry bit as an sfx or inner thought, or change the may to an imperative, " let me help you." (That probably fits better seeing the next follow up panel with the character complaining/whining).
On another matter, I don't think that they are their guest fits with being a slave, since a slave doesn't owns the house, so getting rid of that dear guest could make the slave more meek, and using the sir or master or what other title fit better with the slave being a property, not a host. Else feels too friendly? It could be the character is okay being a slave too tho. But then next they are scared of getting in trouble so again, complex acting undercurrents ha ha.
Since I read Framed ink I would point that the panel with the carrot mincing and the next makes me spin a little since the view angle rotates, and on framed ink they mention that you should keep constant as much as possible between actions your focal points, so that one can be confusing. You could just change the viewpoint to the same side as we are on the full shot, but while still keeping it a close up.
Phew, sorry if I'm being a bother with the pointers ha ha, I must say I don't know barely anything about this so I can be very wrong, still useful as a mental exercise.
So, did you manage to defeat those nasty cubes!? ha.
Ugh, I prefer to keep my panels buried for now ha ha, I read Framed ink a month ago and spot some issues, although it left me with more questions than answers ha ha. Gonna have to go over it again.
Suggestions. When they come in I'm guessing one character overpowers the other with the "Yes, please!", put more emphasis on that, make it bigger, bolder or make the other smaller or cut it earlier, else seems like they are contradicting each other with equal weight, so you left the reader wondering who is leading who where. (you could resolve that on a follow up panel I guess if it's meaningful for the characters arc, if they are at odds or not working as a group).
"I'm hungry" / "May I help...?" Those point to two different personalities, archetypes, the humble and the impatient. Either you do the hungry bit as an sfx or inner thought, or change the may to an imperative, " let me help you." (That probably fits better seeing the next follow up panel with the character complaining/whining).
On another matter, I don't think that they are their guest fits with being a slave, since a slave doesn't owns the house, so getting rid of that dear guest could make the slave more meek, and using the sir or master or what other title fit better with the slave being a property, not a host. Else feels too friendly? It could be the character is okay being a slave too tho. But then next they are scared of getting in trouble so again, complex acting undercurrents ha ha.
Since I read Framed ink I would point that the panel with the carrot mincing and the next makes me spin a little since the view angle rotates, and on framed ink they mention that you should keep constant as much as possible between actions your focal points, so that one can be confusing. You could just change the viewpoint to the same side as we are on the full shot, but while still keeping it a close up.
Phew, sorry if I'm being a bother with the pointers ha ha, I must say I don't know barely anything about this so I can be very wrong, still useful as a mental exercise.
So, did you manage to defeat those nasty cubes!? ha.