neopatogen CC4 quickwips

[neopatogen]

I've already posted the final, but decided to create a WIP thread here, just in case any of you decides to write some feedback :) I won't be able to fix anythig before the deadline, but maybe later! :) 
I haven't used perspective grids so the perspective is off in many frames. I'll try to apply more of my perspective knowledge in my future works. I'm also not happy with the hands, and I failed to draw blood on the hands on the frame  in right lower corner. Studies would help to fix it. I didn't do any actually, the only study was reading "Understanding comics" (it became one of my favourite books!).
Had a lot of fun with ink, it was my first time using it! I haven't read how to use it, just did it intuitively. Thanks to my decedent grandparents for the ink pen :)
I guess I might make mistakes in English in my comic, would appreciate comments on the text as well (thanks to John for suggesting the word "thud").

[JyonnyNovice]

Awesome Neo! Looks great ^^ funny story and the inking looks really charming, with a great minimal hand drawn look - which is quite difficult to pull off I think! I know it's finished but I'll give you my critique anyway:

The only thing I would say, and it's a personal thing that's all, is that panel 7 doesn't feel too necessary, I think you could've skipped that one and gone straight to him punching the name into his phone then perhaps added an extra frame after the "No time to explain, write this down" one where he starts to tell Jim the story, since the jump to the frame where he says "the end" seems too sudden. That's just my opinion though, I think it's really great as it is anyway : )

[TwilightExplode]

I definitely agree with Jyonny, the skip from the phone call to '...the end' is a bit sudden. You might be able to add a small panel in above one of the others OR just an extra text bubble with him starting to tell the story in the panel with the phone call. Otherwise, i dig it. Seems pretty accurate to how things would actually happen.

[JyonnyNovice]

heh, just noticed the name 'Jim McFraud' on the book at the end, pretty cool to find stuff like that you didn't notice first time.