Ortani's finished work

[Ortani]

I might aswell post my more polished pieces on here! 

This is a DTIYS (do this in your style) piece of mlle_pysthache's OC Vivian that I painted last month! :D

[darktiste]

Those hand need more work way they to flat in term of lighting and they leak texture take some reference of the style you trying to achieve. The lighting is questionable. How is it value lighter on the bottom side of her breast yet darker on top will she having a magic light a few centimeter to the side. The bustier need value adjustment. Always design with light in mind that what elevate the work. Do light thumbnail to test the lighting if necessary . Dont leave composition and value to luck. Her left eye is buldging out of the socket compare to the right one in term of perspective remember the eye sit inside the eye socket.The upper eye lid crease also dont extend all around the length of the eye they kinda parallel the shape of the eye.

[Ortani]

Those hand need more work way they to flat in term of lighting and they leak texture take some reference of the style you trying to achieve. The lighting is questionable. How is it value lighter on the bottom side of her breast yet darker on top will she having a magic light a few centimeter to the side. The bustier need value adjustment. Always design with light in mind that what elevate the work. Do light thumbnail to test the lighting if necessary . Dont leave composition and value to luck. Her left eye is buldging out of the socket compare to the right one in term of perspective remember the eye sit inside the eye socket.The upper eye lid crease also dont extend all around the length of the eye they kinda parallel the shape of the eye.

Hey! Thank you for your feedback, I agree with all your statements and missed the mark. I rendered out the hands more (especially her left hand) and added more magic/blue light on the top of her breast aswell as added a darker oulineunder the top lid of her right eye so it looks better in place. The eyecreases where smoothed out so they don't look connected.

I will also take the advice of doing light thumbnails before starting on a serious piece.

If there is anything you feel I didn't understand/missed out on, feel free to let me know or do a paintover of my artwork if it helps you explain what you had in mind :)

[darktiste]

I feel the hand could still use more crease where the joint are.

The value are getting a lil more define but the bustier still leak the roundness that i would expect of something that wrap tightly around the body.

I am not sure if it the eye that need to be move or the mouth that out of perspective but a quick try to see what should be adjusted is a quick lasso tool or to use the liquify tool if you got that in your tool option it can help reshape some feature but you might need to redraw them if they are to out of perspective.

One other detail that kinda bother me is how much of the ear anatomy is missing to even call that a ear more reference of other work would be suggested or just more anatomy study to fill your visual library.

Also glass tend to deform what behind the glass because they might have slight curvature so when light pass it get bent so her cheek is behind the glass it can deform unless those glass are just for protection which i doubt.

For the pose i think it a bit hard to read what she gripping if the pose of the leg would have been work a lil more in the composition stage i think you would have achieve better read. So yeah i really wanna say that i feel if you want to put anything in your portfolio i think you really need to step up the pre work otherwise you really betting on a homerun on the first attempt and i think that kinda take years of work to achieve this kind of consistence.

Remember that you also have to be able to take a outside view on your work. You know the choose you made and what everything is in the scene but you cant assume the viewer will see thing as clearly as you do that why you want to exaggerate to a degree.

[Ortani]

I feel the hand could still use more crease where the joint are.

The value are getting a lil more define but the bustier still leak the roundness that i would expect of something that wrap tightly around the body.

I am not sure if it the eye that need to be move or the mouth that out of perspective but a quick try to see what should be adjusted is a quick lasso tool or to use the liquify tool if you got that in your tool option it can help reshape some feature but you might need to redraw them if they are to out of perspective.

One other detail that kinda bother me is how much of the ear anatomy is missing to even call that a ear more reference of other work would be suggested or just more anatomy study to fill your visual library.

Also glass tend to deform what behind the glass because they might have slight curvature so when light pass it get bent so her cheek is behind the glass it can deform unless those glass are just for protection which i doubt.

For the pose i think it a bit hard to read what she gripping if the pose of the leg would have been work a lil more in the composition stage i think you would have achieve better read. So yeah i really wanna say that i feel if you want to put anything in your portfolio i think you really need to step up the pre work otherwise you really betting on a homerun on the first attempt and i think that kinda take years of work to achieve this kind of consistence.

Remember that you also have to be able to take a outside view on your work. You know the choose you made and what everything is in the scene but you cant assume the viewer will see thing as clearly as you do that why you want to exaggerate to a degree.

Okay! I tried to take a whack at it again with what you said in mind, I do feel there could be more improvement with the creases of the bustier but I'd like to move on from this piece :)

Things that changed compared to the last update:

• Added more creases to the bustier.
• Moved her eyes closer together.
• Slightly deformed/shaped the lips (I also just noticed the philtrum doesn't connect properly to the lips :')  )
• Added creases to the fingers.
• Slightly moved the cheek behind the glasses to the right. (I'm going to assume she has a weak prescription lol)
• Added a helix to the ears.

In the future I'll definitely practice composition / readability.

I really appreciate you putting in the time to critique my work, I love hearing other peoples feedback and use those opportunities to improve my art and learn something new!

This artwork isn't intended to be a portfolio piece, this is mostly for fun as I enjoy painting other artists OC's. I thought this might be the only appropriate thread to post it on as it's a bit more polished than the work I put in my sketchbook, if I post another piece that's intended to be for a portfolio I will be sure to mention it :D 

If there is a better thread I could be posting this type of artwork on, please let me know, cheers!

[darktiste]

You can pos in critic and feedback next time.I wont drag you with more feedback plus anything moving foward would require some form of POV and i am personally not necessary in favor of POV even if i do them from time to time i want a piece to retain the original touch of the OP.

[Ortani]

You can pos in critic and feedback next time.I wont drag you with more feedback plus anything moving foward would require some form of POV and i am personally not necessary in favor of POV even if i do them from time to time i want a piece to retain the original touch of the OP.

Yeah I understand! no worries :D